Different Timelines, Same Grief: What We Miss About Breakups

Breakups reveal not only what we’ve lost, but also how we grieve, grow, and rebuild—often at different paces. With Tom Brady back in the news after Gisele Bündchen’s remarriage, people are seeing a familiar emotional pattern unfold in real time.

Men and women often experience the end of long-term relationships differently, and that difference isn’t a flaw. It reflects how bonds form and are processed. Many men take longer to emotionally integrate a relationship, but when they do, it becomes a deep part of their identity. Commitment often gives them structure, purpose, and a steady emotional anchor. When that bond ends, the loss can feel disorienting, sometimes hitting hardest long after the relationship is over.

Women often process change earlier and in different areas of their lives. They reflect, seek support from others, and look for meaning in their experience. By the time a relationship ends or an ex moves on, they may have already done much of the work. This doesn’t mean the loss was less important; it means they built resilience as they went and may have started the process a bit sooner.

So if it looks like men struggle later and women move on sooner, it’s really about timing, not about who loved more. Both are grieving, both are figuring out who they are now, and both are learning how to keep love in their lives without losing themselves.

The good news is that loss doesn’t erase the bond. It changes it. For some, the breakup is a chance to grow emotionally and become more independent. For others, working through things early brings clarity and a fresh start. Healthy love might not last forever, but it often helps us grow, learn, and better understand ourselves and our future relationships.

Blog post sponsored by MillionaireMatch.com

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, who’s teamed up with MillionaireMatch to bring you expert content about dating and healthy relationships.

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