Why the Holidays Can Be the Best (and Hardest) Time for Relationships

Written By Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt

 Each December, as Christmas lights go up and social media fills with holiday posts and pictures, people talk about love, connection, and their hopes for relationships. They also mention stress, family issues, money worries, and feeling stretched too thin. The holidays are popular not just for the fun, but because they highlight both the warmth and the stress we already experience.

For many couples, this season is a chance to slow down, reconnect, and start new traditions together. Research in relationship psychology shows that positive shared experiences, like cooking a holiday meal or volunteering, help couples feel closer and strengthen their bond. When partners laugh about tangled lights or remember old times, they build emotional strength that lasts into the new year.

But the holidays can also bring up old and unresolved problems too. The pressure to be “joyful” and “perfect” can make small frustrations seem bigger. Old habits, like avoiding tough talks, trying to please everyone at family events, or taking each other for granted, can resurface when routines change, and expectations grow. It’s normal for couples to feel both closer and more likely to argue during December.

Why does this topic trend on social media every holiday season? The holidays make us want connection, acceptance, and peace even more, and make worries about our everyday stressors even harder to ignore. People share memes, stories, and opinions not just for fun or always positive, but also because these feelings are real and relatable for many.

Here’s some good news:

The holidays aren’t about being perfect. They’re about being present and making real connections. It’s also important to know your limits, set boundaries, and practice real self-care. Whether you’re with a long-term partner, starting something new, or focusing on yourself, this season is a chance to slow down and focus on what matters most.

This holiday season, try to make your relationships less about meeting expectations and more about being there for each other. That’s what really lasts after the decorations are put away.

 

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

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