Loving Roots Project

The Loving Roots Project is a psychotherapy practice promoting personal growth, healthy relationships, and mental wellness through virtual services for individuals & couples and online self-improvement classes. Our mission is to promote living life & relationships in a more fulfilled & meaningful way.

Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt

Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt is the founder of Loving Roots Project and a licensed clinical psychologist, relationship expert, author, and virtual coach dedicated to helping individuals and couples create healthier, more fulfilling lives and relationships. In addition to her professional roles, she is a wife, mother, military spouse, entrepreneur, hiker, gardener, beekeeper, animal lover, and lifelong believer in the power of growth, connection, and intentional living.

She earned her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University in Los Angeles, California, a Master’s degree in Family Psychology from Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Texas, and a Bachelor’s degree from Texas A&M University–Commerce. Her education and training have provided a strong foundation for her work helping clients navigate personal challenges, strengthen relationships, and cultivate meaningful change.

Throughout her career, Dr. Shelley has worked in a wide range of mental health settings, including private practice, domestic violence shelters, correctional facilities, psychiatric hospitals, substance abuse treatment centers, and community counseling agencies. These diverse experiences have given her extensive clinical expertise and a deep appreciation for the unique struggles people face at different stages of life.

With over two decades of experience, Dr. Shelley is passionate about helping clients better understand themselves, overcome obstacles, improve communication, strengthen emotional connections, and build lives that align with their values and goals. Her approach combines compassion, practical guidance, and evidence-based strategies to support lasting growth and transformation.

In her clinical work, Dr. Shelley mainly uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals become more aware, break unhelpful patterns, and make lasting changes. When working with couples, she uses evidence-based methods like the Family Systems Theory, Gottman Method, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to encourage better communication, deeper emotional bonds, and healthier relationships.

In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Shelley is the creator of the UPLIFT Program and is currently publishing a new relationship self-help book for couples, called The Journey Back to Us, that brings this transformative relationship framework to a broader audience. The Journey Back to Us is rooted in psychology, relationship science, and two decades of experience helping couples reconnect, the book provides practical tools for building healthier communication, deeper intimacy, and lasting relationship satisfaction. Click to pre-order your copy of the book now!

To receive more updates on the book, UPLIFT resources, and exclusive relationship content, subscribe to her newsletter below or follow her on Instagram.

Dr. Shelley has been featured in several media publications; including Women’s Health, Prevention, Cosmopolitan, Mind Body Green, Martha Stewart, and Bustle. She is licensed to practice in several states and has multi-state credentials. If you have questions, please use the contact form. To book a phone consultation, use the online scheduling system below.

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You can't heal a pattern you've never actually named. Most couples spend years arguing about the dishes, the tone, or the silence without ever looking at what's underneath it. The argument isn't the problem. It's just where the problem shows up. Th
Swipe to find out where your relationship is actually operating — and where it could be. I've spent years watching couples confuse their "normal" for the ceiling of what's possible. It's not. Every single one of these shifts is lear
I’m so happy to share the cover of my upcoming book, The Journey Back to Us: A Couples’ Guide to UPLIFTing Love and Restoring Connection! 🥳 After more than 20 years of helping people with relationship challenges, I’ve seen how eve
Here’s what I mean by baseline.   Every couple has a “normal.” The default temperature of their relationship on an average Tuesday. How connected they feel. How quickly they recover after conflict. Whether they feel like roomma
Loving someone deeply is not the same as feeling safe with them. You can love someone and still walk on eggshells around them. Still carefully choose your words before you speak. Still brace yourself right before you say the honest thing, wondering
The drift starts so quietly you barely notice—until one day the person beside you feels like a stranger. If this hits home, it’s not too late to fight for the connection you once had. Small, intentional steps today can rebuild what&rsquo
One of the hardest parts of military life isn’t always the move itself—it’s starting over. Every PCS asks you to build a new routine, find a new community, and open your heart to people you know you may eventually have to leave. Tha
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Some of the most meaningful moments in a relationship don’t happen when everything is easy. They happen when two people choose to lean into the conversations they’d rather avoid. Talking about hurt feelings. Expressing unmet needs. Setti
Here’s something I’ve noticed after years of doing this work: Relationships rarely stay exactly where they started. We grow, we change, we evolve. And we have to make effort to stay present in the process together. The good news? When we
After spending years working with couples, I can tell you that most don’t struggle because they don’t love each other. They struggle because nobody ever taught them how to love in a safe, secure, consistent, and authentic way. Couples th
After almost 20 years as a psychologist—and just as many years as a military spouse navigating moves, deployments, and everything in between—here’s what I’ve learned: the couples who make it aren’t the ones with the fewe
Autopilot helps us survive busy seasons—but relationships need conscious attention to thrive. Small moments of presence interrupt distance and remind both partners they matter emotionally, not just functionally. #mindfulrelationships #emotiona
Intentionally choose how you love to strengthen your relationship. A lot of people believe that strong relationships happen when you find the right person. But lasting connections usually come from the choices we make each day. The choice to listen
Love done well feels like safety + growth. It’s the beautiful paradox of a secure relationship: You feel safe enough to be fully yourself — and challenged enough to keep becoming a better version of yourself. Real love doesn’t j
The relationship you want starts with the relationship you have with yourself.   What’s one thing you’ve recently become more aware of in your own patterns? Drop it below.         #SelfAwareness #HealthyRelations
#MemorialDay often brings both gratitude and grief, especially for those connected to military life. Many people see today as just a long weekend, but for many, it means much more. It reminds us of the sacrifices made by service members and the fami
Building a real connection is more important than always agreeing. You don’t need to agree on everything to have a healthy relationship. What really counts is how you treat each other when you disagree. When you feel heard, respected, safe, a