5 Tips for Maintaining Sobriety During the Holidays

The holiday season can be a fun and joyous occasion that is filled with family gatherings, work parties, and spirit-filled festivities, but it’s also a stressful time that can bring on triggers of unhealthy behavior and make it difficult to cope with certain situations. This is particularly true for those who are newly sober or in recovery and attempting to manage the holiday season sober. Many people have access to indulgent food and alcoholic beverages; therefore, creating plenty of temptation and pressure. With this combination of heightened emotions being triggered and the availability and temptation of alcohol, it can be very difficult to manage.

Here are some tips for managing alcohol during the holidays:

1. Plan Ahead:

Going into the holiday season, we already know challenges and stressful situations will arise, so it's imperative to be prepared. Have a backup plan for when you need to leave a party abruptly or even bring your support system along with you to events. You may also need to strategize surviving certain events where more alcohol may be present than others. Perhaps you bring along an interesting non-alcoholic beverage to enjoy or plan a very brief appearance to minimize any triggers or temptations that you might feel while attending these events. 

2. Coping Skills:

It's important that you are managing your own health and wellness during high-stress events, including the holiday season. This should be a top priority. Implementing coping skills is really key to managing difficult and challenging emotions as well as situations. Coping skills are strategies that we use to help us manage our response and reactions to these challenges. Some ideas for coping include: going for a walk or other exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and listening to music. If you are beginning to feel overwhelmed while at a holiday event, excuse yourself to take a quick break and use your coping strategies. Self-care is critical during this time to stay on your path to recovery.

3. Set Clear Boundaries:

If you are at a holiday event and are feeling uncomfortable, then set a clear boundary about how you are feeling. Express this discomfort to others or leave the engagement. This is especially true if you are newly sober and get offered alcohol. Being around alcohol can be very triggering so it's important that you set clear boundaries right from the start. This way, the other person isn't constantly trying to pressure you into drinking and is aware of where you stand. Another idea is to the designated driver. This way you can set a clear boundary you are not drinking that others should respect. The path to recovery is a challenging one and it's important that people are aware of and respect your boundaries. If you feel that your social network does not respect and honor your boundaries, then it may be time to develop a new, healthy and respectful support system.

4. Build Your Support Network:

As we know, people can get triggered during the holidays, so it's important to have a healthy support network available to you during this time. Perhaps this is a sober friend, sponsor or significant other who can go to the party with you to be a strong support system at the event. Another idea is to have people who are willing to be available for a quick phone call or visit so that you are able to discuss how you are feeling and be supported. When people know ahead of time that a loved one is struggling, they will often carve out time to ensure they are available to be a listening ear. 

5. Monitor Your Emotional State:

Managing your emotions is critical during high-stress situations, such as the holidays or family dinners. It's important that you are monitoring how you feel and are implementing your coping skills when necessary. Be sure to take the time that you need and give yourself some space. Recovery is very challenging and is a top priority. Monitoring your emotional state and implementing coping skills when needed is crucial. Perhaps there is bickering at your family dinner and you feel overwhelmed, then it's important to step back and take a few moments for some self-care. You could go for a walk or excuse yourself to another room while you can composure over your feelings. The point is to make that time for yourself.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Self-Care Tips for Postpartum Depressio

A postpartum depression can be seen anytime within the first year after childbirth, and between 10-20% of mothers suffer from postpartum depression. This depression can be seen not only after childbirth, but also sometimes during pregnancy, following a miscarriage, stillbirth or termination of a pregnancy. A woman may experience several symptoms during or after pregnancy, which will impact her ability to accomplish daily tasks. 

Many women experience emotional changes after childbirth; however, some differences between postpartum depression and “the baby blues” are that postpartum depression is less common, lasts for a longer period of time, the symptoms are more intense, and the effect influences a woman’s ability to function as she normally would. 

Many women feel embarrassed or guilty for feeling this way. However, receiving treatment is essential to help mothers effectively parent their child. Mothers may be greatly impacted by these feelings and thus lose confidence in their ability to parent, which can also increase their depression. The research shows that postpartum depression can impact the infant by causing distress, difficulty with emotional bonding, delays in development, and behavioral problems. 

Postpartum depression symptoms may include: 

• Irritability 

• Sadness

• Trouble concentrating

• Feelings of guilt and worthlessness 

• Loss of interest or pleasure in life 

• Loss of appetite 

• Less energy or motivation to do things

• A hard time falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping more than usual 

• Increased crying

• Feeling hopeless or overly guilty 

• Restlessness or anxiety

• Unexplained weight loss or weight gain 

• Having thoughts about hurting yourself or about hurting your baby 

Here are some tips for helping yourself: 

1. Take some of the pressure off yourself. You are not “Supermom”. Be honest about how much you can do and be willing to ask others for help. This could include help during nighttime feedings, such as having your partner bring the baby to you at night, or help with household chores from a family member, neighbor, friend, or professional services. This social support will help you find time for yourself so you can rest. 

2. Finding time for rest is important. Take frequent naps when another person is helping you or when the baby is also sleeping. 

3. Talk about your feelings! Speak with friends, family, and your partner about what you are feeling. This can help to alleviate some of your emotional pain as well as find support in others. 

Another idea is to keep a journal to write in daily, which can assist you in expressing your feelings and "letting it all out." 

4. Find time to spend alone, just something for yourself, which could include reading, exercising (such as walking), taking a bath, writing in your journal, or meditating. 

5. Understand your feelings. Know that you are not alone, and that it's okay and normal to feel overwhelmed. Bringing a child into the world brings many changes and many challenges. 

6. Find additional support. Call a local hotline number, see the resources below for information and services, join a local support group for women, or seek professional therapy.

Postpartum depression is very real and can be very serious. Seek professional help when needed.

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Resources:

Postpartum Support International: (800) 944-4773

http://www.postpartum.net

Postpartum Depression

https://www.postpartumdepression.org

Suicide Hotline: (800) 273-TALK

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Loving Roots Project

As a psychologist and wellness coach, I’ve spent many years studying human behavior and working with clients in a variety of settings to make positive changes in their lives. My experience seeing how difficult this process can be, yet also how empowering, beautiful, at times crucial, and always inspiring is what drove me to embark on this venture.

I started the Loving Roots Project with the mission of reaching out to as many people as possible with positive messages about personal growth and development. I hope to share inspirational content on this blog, webpage, and social media to promote positivity and empower others on their journey. 

The name Loving Roots Project represents first solidifying a foundation of self-love. The importance of our core being solid is critical before working on lasting, healthy love in our relationships, as well as a bigger mission of love, kindness, and positivity in our communities.

Self-love is one of the most important aspects of living a healthier, happier and more meaningful life. Many people may worry that this is selfish, but it is actually quite the opposite. We are able to be more loving, caring and helpful to those around us when we have a healthy love for ourself FIRST. You often hear the analogy on an airplane to put your oxygen mask on first before putting your child’s on or helping others around you. This is a similar concept. If you are not in a good place in your own life, you will have a harder time being positive and productive with other activities and relationships.

The bigger picture is that after we’ve established a healthier love for self and engage in healthy relationships, then we naturally carry a kindness that is spread to those around us. This idea is based on feeling good inside and in our relationships so that we enter the world with more kindness, compassion and gratitude. How many times have you seen messages of hate posted online or spoken in your community and when you really analyze the position of the person who made such a statement, most people would agree that they can see hate, anger and unhappiness. When people are happy and feel good about themselves, they generally want to spread kindness and joy to others.

With these principles in mind, I hope that the Loving Roots Project can help to motivate others to work on their own roots and core. That they begin the process of self-love first and work toward living the best life they can. Then, spreading this same idea to those around them and engaging in positive and healthy relationships. This will only helps us to maintain more uplifting, kind and compassionate communities.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. These services are available for couples or individuals. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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