9 Essential Self-Care Tips for the Holiday Season

The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—but it can also bring stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm. Amidst the hustle and bustle, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Here’s a deeper dive into nine practical self-care tips to help you stay balanced and at peace this holiday season.

1. Set Boundaries

Between family gatherings, gift exchanges, and work parties, your schedule can fill up quickly. Saying “no” to events or obligations that don’t align with your energy levels or values is an act of self-care. Politely declining an invitation can free up time to recharge.

2. Stay Hydrated

It’s easy to forget the basics amidst the excitement. Drinking plenty of water keeps your energy steady and helps counteract indulgent holiday treats. Keep a reusable water bottle handy as a gentle reminder.

3. Prioritize Sleep

Late-night festivities are fun, but consistently losing sleep can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Make rest a non-negotiable priority. Stick to a regular bedtime when possible and allow your body to recover.

4. Take Breaks

The hustle of holiday shopping or prepping for guests can be overwhelming. Schedule short breaks throughout the day to pause, breathe, or step outside for fresh air. Even 10 minutes can make a difference.

5. Limit Social Media

While social media can inspire, it often fuels comparison and anxiety during the holidays. Take a step back from scrolling and focus on meaningful, in-person interactions or quiet moments with yourself.

6. Move Your Body

Staying active is a great way to boost your mood and relieve stress. A simple walk around the block, a quick yoga session, or even dancing to your favorite holiday songs can help you feel refreshed.

7. Practice Gratitude

Amid the holiday chaos, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing or stressful. Shift your perspective by jotting down three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude fosters positivity and keeps your spirits lifted.

8. Treat Yourself

The holidays often revolve around giving, but don’t forget to treat yourself. Whether it’s a cozy blanket, a favorite snack, or a good book, small indulgences can bring you joy and comfort.

9. Ask for Help

You don’t have to do everything on your own. Delegate tasks or ask friends and family for support. Sharing the load can ease stress and create opportunities for connection.

The holiday season should be a time of joy—not burnout. By incorporating these self-care strategies, you can enjoy the season while keeping your mental and physical health intact. Remember: taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential.

Wishing you peace and happiness this holiday season!

Ways to Cope With Stress

Stress is one of the most common challenges that we experience. It can have huge ramifications on our physical health, mental health, cognitive functioning, and emotional health so it’s essential to address stress and implement coping skills to help reduce the impact on our wellbeing.

This article will focus on a few coping skills to help reduce stress, but if you are looking for more in-depth information in an educational format, you can find our online Mindfulness & Stress Management class on our webpage. The program will delve more deeply into the negative impacts of stress, importance to address stress, stress management techniques, mindfulness, and several homework assignments to ensure your progress throughout the class.

In this article, we will look at coping strategies in a couple of different areas: physical and cognitive. You may notice that everyone handles stress differently. Some people take on stress more in a physical way, such as tension in your shoulders or back, disturbances in sleep or even headaches or stomachaches. It would be recommended that that person looks toward coping skills that take into account physical activities, such as exercise, massage, or yoga. 

Another example is the difference in the way in which we deal with stress is the person who is more impacted by cognitive effects. This is a person who may get stuck mentally in their stress, ruminate on the problems and have difficulty shutting their mind down. This person would most likely benefit from cognitive activities that address coping with stress, such as recognizing unhealthy thinking, changing your perspective or engaging in positive self-talk.

TIPS TO COPE WITH STRESS:

Behavioral Strategies:

• Physical stress relief, such as regular exercise or a daily walk

• Mindfulness and relaxation focused exercises. This may include a long bath, meditation, mindfulness practice, etc.

• Happiness activities: engage in activities that promote your happiness such as doing yoga, listening to music, or getting a massage.

• Write in a journal. The act of writing can provide an outlet for the release of emotions and thoughts, which can help with healing and coping.

• Consider emotional support activities such as talking to friends or family 

• Keep things in moderation: coffee, diet, and alcohol. Overuse of substances can create further dependency as become a crutch with coping.

Cognitive Strategies:

• Cognitive Restructuring: the act of recognizing your unhealthy thinking patterns and altering them to more positive and healthy cognition.

• Recognize unhealthy thinking patterns. By being able to catch yourself when you are thinking negatively or even ruminating on your stress, you can counteract its impact and reduce future experiences of stress.

• Perspective: Accept what you cannot control and do your best. The less we focus on perfectionism and attempting to control

• Use Positive self-talk: Try saying positive things to yourself daily. You can say things, like: “I can get through this,” “This is hard, but I can do it.”

Prevention:

• Balance: Maintain a better balance so that you do not get stressed in the future. This may include saying “no” and declining some events as well as maintaining a good balance with work-life so that life does not become overwhelming.

• Learn your triggers: For the future, learn triggers that lead to high levels of anxiety in your life. This way you can decrease or avoid these triggers and better cope.

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ONLINE SESSIONS

For more information on virtual services, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Remote services are provided online through a HIPAA compliant web portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during your sessions and have increased privacy. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Online Stress Management Class

Life in Balance: Stress Management & Mindfulness program is an 8-module online class to help you better cope with stress and anxiety. This program is a self-guided virtual class that you can complete at your own pace. Click here for more information.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Reducing Mental Health Stigma

Most people have been impacted by mental health-related issues in their life, either due to their own experience or someone they know. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in five Americans will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime. More than 50% of people in the United States (U.S.) will be diagnosed with a mental illness at some point in their lives. Mood disorders, including major depression or bipolar disorder, are the third most common cause of hospitalization in the U.S. for youth and adults (18-44 years old). 

Suicide, which is often associated with symptoms of mental illness, is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. These statistics show that mental illnesses are among the most common health conditions in the U.S., yet only 25 percent of people feel others are understanding or compassionate about their illness. This demonstrates how alive and well stigma and discrimination are regarding mental health-related issues and diagnoses.

A lack of understanding and familiarity about mental health as well as certain held social and cultural beliefs seem to impact one’s ability to have compassion and understanding. Another common cause of stigma is fear. It is a human tendency that we fear things that we do not fully understand. Stigma includes both the prejudicial attitudes and discriminatory behavior towards people with mental health issues. Studies have shown that the attitudes toward people who have mental illness are widespread and include beliefs like, people with mental health problems are more dangerous. When, in fact, studies indicate that people with mental health disorders are more likely to be victims of violence.

Stigma negatively impacts people who have mental illness by increasing isolation, social exclusion and providing poor social support. It also increases shame and secrecy as people will be less likely to want to share their issues related to mental health, if and when they experience discrimination as a result. People are also less likely to treatment when they experience discrimination due to their mental health-related issues. These negative experiences can greatly impact the person with a mental health diagnosis and at times, worsen symptoms by causing increased distress, lower self-esteem and hurt the person’s quality of daily living. This can also impact the person’s overall success because of poorer vocational outcomes due to workplace discrimination. 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) suggests that people educate themselves and others about mental health-related issues to decrease stigma as well as talk more openly about mental health-related issues. Other suggestions include being more conscious of the language that we use and show more compassion for people impacted by mental illness. NAMI also encourages equality between physical and mental health conditions. A pretty impactful statement they provided on this topic was: would you make fun of someone with cancer? It is more common that we joke about mental health issues when we would never say such a thing about someone’s physical illness or disease.

The elimination of mental health stigma can, of course, reduce discrimination, it also allows for better social inclusion, can provide higher vocational outcomes for the person impacted and it can promote recovery of the person suffering from mental illness. This has a greater impact on workplace and societal environments, as well as employment and our overall communities. We all have our differences and challenges. Being compassionate, kind and accepting of all people, especially those with mental health-related issues can be beneficial for everyone.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Resources:

American Psychological Association: https://www.apa.org

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org

Time to Change: https://www.time-to-change.org.uk

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References: 

• Byrne, P. (2000). Stigma of mental illness and ways of diminishing it. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 6(1), 65-72. doi:10.1192/apt.6.1.65

• Clement S, et al. Mass media interventions for reducing mental health-related stigma. Cochrane Database Systematic Reviews 2013; 23: CD009453.

• Clement S, et al. What is the impact of mental health-related stigma on help-seeking? A systematic review of quantitative and qualitative studies. Psychological Medicine 2015; 45: 11-27.

• The paper, “Community Violence Perpetration and Victimization Among Adults With Mental Illnesses,” is published online in the American Journal of Public Health. The paper was co-authored by Dr. Richard Van Dorn of RTI International; Kiersten Johnson, a graduate student at NC State; Dr. Kevin Grimm of University of California, Davis; Dr. Kevin Douglas of Simon Fraser University; and Dr. Marvin Swartz of Duke University.

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Blog written by: 

Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, a wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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A Holistic Approach to Mind-Body Wellness

There is a strong connection between the mind and the body. When you’re working on your own personal development, it’s essential that you address both your physical health needs and your mental health needs. When it comes to health and wellness, it is no wonder when we’re not well physically it impacts us emotionally and when we’re not feeling well mentally this impacts our physical health. This means that your mindset, attitude, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, your emotional state; they all directly impact your physical health and vice versa.

Research shows that mind-body therapies such as relaxation, hypnosis, visual imagery, meditation, biofeedback, even cognitive-behavioral therapy have all been helpful at managing certain physical illnesses such as arthritis and pain management. These studies indicate that mind-body focused activities can actually help to improve psychological functioning, they can reduce the symptoms of disease and increase one’s overall quality of life.

Nutrition has also been seen as having a large role in mental health and cognitive functioning. There is quite a bit of research that shows the brain-gut connection; therefore, maintaining a healthy gut with good foods can help to promote positive mental health and cognitive function. Nutrition can directly impact things such as memory, processing speed, mood (depression and anxiety) as well as physical energy and mental focus and attention.

What is having a holistic approach to wellness?

A holistic view takes into account all of our bodily systems working together to optimize our functioning. It means that we believe further in the relationship of all of the systems being interrelated and impacting one another. For example, nutrition impacting the brain, mental health impacting physical health or more specifically depression impacting pain management.

Having a holistic view is critical as views us as a whole being and takes into account all parts of our life: our physical body, our emotional wellbeing, our mental health, cognition, and spiritual being. This also goes to show how important things like nutrition are for both our physical and mental health. This mind-body and holistic view means taking care of all aspects of yourself and making good healthy decisions from a well-rounded perspective.

Activities to Boost Mind-Body Wellness:

• Make healthy nutrition food choices

• Pray, meditate, pause or breathe

• Engage in stress management

• Be thankful, engage in a gratitude practice

• Exercise your body

• Walk or get outdoors and enjoy

• Deepen your connections with others

• Foster friendships

• Positive thinking

• Production with work

• Active in hobbies and activities for enjoyment

• Get good sleep

• Focus on self-love, happiness, and greater self-esteem

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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5 Tips for Mindful Eating

We know how important mindfulness can be in our daily lives and that it provides many wonderful benefits, but how about being mindful at mealtime? Yes, you guessed it, being mindful while eating has powerful benefits! This is especially true for a person who may be experiencing and struggling with unhealthy eating patterns, such as mindlessly overeating or eating unhealthy foods. 

The idea of mindfulness is being fully present and in the moment with your thoughts, sights, sounds, and experience. Therefore, mindful eating means being fully in tune with your eating experience, including being aware of the food you are eating, the taste, texture, flavor, and the experience while also paying close attention to your feelings and emotional state. This allows us to slow down while eating, be fully aware of the present moment with ourselves and the food we are putting into our bodies as well have a better overall relationship with food. 

A mindful eating practice can help with particular challenges, such as binge eating or overeating and it can also help anyone wanting to begin a more healthful eating habit. By slowing down and being more mindful while eating, this reduces overeating and creates more awareness of healthy eating.

Here are a few strategies to get you started with a mindful eating practice.

5 Tips for Mindful Eating:

1. Take the time: 

We live in a fast-paced and stressful culture and tend to rush through tasks during the day. One of those tasks is eating and mealtime, which is especially true during the busy workday. Most people will rush through their mealtime and not pay attention to what they are eating, how fast or how they are feeling. This type of situation often encourages people to eat more rapidly, rather than slowing down and actually enjoying their meal in the moment. This can encourage overeating since you are mindlessly rushing through so quickly that your brain and stomach do not have time to sufficiently communicate when you are full. 

Another common example of not taking the time to eat is snacking on the go or in front of the television. Again, these are situations that can encourage overeating as well as not being fully present in the moment. I know it can be difficult to always sit down for a meal, but when you can, try it! This is an important step to slowing down, being more aware of what you are doing in the moment and engaging in more mindful eating.

2. Breathe beforehand: 

Before you even begin to take a bite of your meal, sit still, and just breathe. This could be 5 deep breathes to slow yourself down and be fully present with the activity. By focusing on breath, this allows you to better connect to the moment. Remember mindfulness is about being fully aware of the present moment and in tune with how you are feeling. So take that time to take 5 deep breaths before beginning to eat and get yourself in a calm, connected, and mindful state.

3. Slow down: 

Once you start eating, slow down. We often become rushed and want to speed through the experience, which can actually increase overindulgence and the amount of food that we are taking in. Slow down and savor each bite. Similar to the breathing exercise before you began eating, you also want to slow down between bites and while chewing. You could even try taking a few deep breathes in between bites to really slow down take notice of your experience. During this time, be sure to connect to how you are feeling and everything that is happening in the moment.

4. Enjoy & savor: 

During this step, it’s important that you are aware of the moment and experience and actually enjoy the food that you are eating. Be sure to really take time to notice everything your current experience. It’s important to really savor each bite of food. This means that you will observe what the food looks like on your plate, take note of the colors, the shape, and size. Also, notice if the food has any smell and sit for a moment as you breathe them in. Then as you eat your meal, really savor the flavors in each bite. Notice how the food tastes, what flavors you taste, what the texture is like in your mouth and how the food feels as you eat. This step will allow you to be very aware, present and mindful of the food you are eating, which really encourages a more healthy eating pattern. 

5. Repeat: 

Like most new activities, it takes continued practice to really get the hang of it. Repeat this exercise many times until it becomes more of a habit during your mealtime routine. When you are beginning a new habit, it is easy to fall back into your same old routine. It really does take time, effort and practice. So try these techniques often and remember that if you get off track for a few days, that is completely normal. The key here is to get back on a healthy and more mindful path. It will take work and practice, but you are worth it.

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Online Mindful Eating Class

For more information on mindful eating, check out our self-guided online class: Mindful Eating: A Healthy Relationship With Food. This class provides a workbook complete with information on emotional eating, mindful eating tips and homework assignments to guide you through the material as well as an hour and half of video series content. The class also comes with a guided mindful eating exercise.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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5 Ways Pets Can Boost Your Mental Health

If you are a “pet person” then it will come as no surprise that having pets can really be beneficial and happiness to our lives. Pets are very common in our lives. An estimated 68% of U.S. households have pets and 95% of those pet owners consider their pet a part of their family, which indicates the strong bond that pets create. Research shows us that pets can add a number of helpful elements to our lives, both physically and mentally.

For this reason, pets are often used as service animals or emotional support animals for a variety of disabilities and illnesses. Not only are certain animals capable of being trained to assist with physical and mobility needs, but many animals are highly in tune to how we are feeling and our emotional state, which means they also greatly assist with emotional and mental health needs.

Mental Health Benefits of Owning Pets: 

1. Meaning: 

Pet ownership can add so much meaning and fulfillment to our lives. They give us responsibility and something to care for. Many families add pets to their lives for the purpose of teaching responsibility to children and other family members. Pets can add so much meaning to our lives as well as prompt us to participate in pet driven activities, which can be very positive. Some of these activities may include daily walks, trips to the dog park or other outdoor activities such as hiking and visits to the park. Therefore, pets can motivate us to engage in positive physical activities outdoors as well as provide social opportunities with other pet owners.

2. Companionship: 

Pets can help to combat loneliness. Surprisingly, just the presence of having a pet nearby can decrease loneliness and helps to make us feel that someone or something is close by. This presence can help people feel less lonely in general. Also, along with meaning, pets can get us outdoors, active and engaged, which obviously reduces feelings of loneliness and adds more opportunities for social experiences. 

3. Loyalty: 

Similar to companionship, pets also bring loyalty. Many people may have fears related to trusting another human being because they are scared of being rejected, hurt or even abandoned. Pets are loyal companions who want to spend their time right by our side, which can be very helpful for someone who maybe struggling with these issues. Just in general, having that loyal companion can add more fulfillment and a sense of love to our lives.  

4. Emotional Awareness: 

Pets are very in tune and sensitive to our feelings. Often, pets can sense when we are feeling down or bad and they can curl up right next to us to offer support. This ability that pets naturally have, is similar to mindfulness. Pets are very present in the moment and put their full attention to you in the present moment. This experience can be very helpful to their human counterpart by teaching us to also be mindful, in the moment as well as reduce stress and be more in tune to our emotional state. Studies have shown that pets can increase our serotonin levels, which can help ward off depression and improve overall mood. For this reason, pets are commonly used for mental health and emotional support. 

5. Relaxation: 

Research shows us that the simple act of petting an animal can be meditative and relaxing. This is one of the reasons many service animals are taken into hospital units to provide a calm experience for the patient that will promote positive emotional and mental health as well as physical healing. Specifically, the various studies on stress reduction and pet ownership show us that this lower stress can lead to a healthier heart. The results showed lower rates of heart disease and lower blood pressure. Also, the simple tactile act of petting your cat or dog can increase a relaxation hormone and lower the stress hormone cortisol, which lowers overall stress levels and increases relaxation.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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Will Anxiety Ever Get Better? Helpful Tips for Coping

There are times when it feels that anxiety will never get better. It’s worrisome, exhausting and overwhelming. But yes, anxiety is a very treatable disorder and with work and dedication to reduce the symptoms and implement coping skills, it can get better.

Anxiety disorder is the most common mental health condition in the United States with nearly 40 million adults experiencing it at some point in their life. Anxiety can impact people differently and have a wide variety of symptoms. Usually, the symptoms impact our cognitive, emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. Because the symptoms impact such a variety of areas, the coping skills should also target these different areas. 

Read more below about the common symptoms and some tips for coping.

Symptoms of Anxiety:

• Feeling restless or nervous

• Easily fatigued & feeling overwhelmed

• Having trouble sleeping

• Feeling irritable & restless

• Impact memory & judgment

• Increased muscle tension or headaches

• Difficulty controlling worry

• Increased sweating & trembling

• Difficulty concentrating

• Having trouble making decisions

• Increases self-doubt

Tips for Coping: 

Positive Thinking:

Altering your mindset can be a key factor in managing anxiety. In fact, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatment strategies in addressing and reducing anxiety. CBT aims to address the role of one’s cognitions and thoughts with how that is impairing their behavior and emotional state. CBT is quite effective in helping people to alter and adjust their negative thoughts while replacing them with more positive thinking. The power of positive thinking has had extensive research showing its effectiveness and usefulness when implemented during challenging times. So when you notice yourself worrying or feeling anxious, try your best to force positive thoughts, such as saying positive affirmations to yourself or even thinking of something in which you are grateful. These are small exercises that can actually have a large impact in reducing overall anxiety.

Mindfulness Meditation: 

Mindfulness can help to calm the mind and this is especially important when one is experiencing anxiety, stress, and high levels of worry. Even taking a few moments each day to just breathe can be extremely helpful. The idea of meditation and mindfulness means that we are creating a safe space for ourselves to engage in a calming experience where we will be keenly aware of our body, mind, and physical space. There are many mindfulness exercises that will guide you through practicing a meditation. You can try this for a few moments each day or even on a weekly basis.

Exercise:

There is extensive research on the mental and emotional benefits of physical activity. When people are experiencing high stress or anxiety, they can often forget the importance of making time for exercise. It is this activity that can actually help to reduce stress and anxiety so it is therefore very important. Physical exercise boosts certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and other endorphins, which can again, help us to manage our mood and emotional state. You can start small and set daily goals, such as a 20-minute walk in your neighborhood. Any physical activity can help in boosting your mood so get out and try a little exercise to improve your emotional wellbeing. 

Healthy Nutrition:

Eating healthy foods is an important aspect to maintaining both good physical and mental health. Healthy nutrition, just as exercise, plays a direct role in our mind-body functioning. People often notice if they eat more processed, high sugar or junk foods, they feel more sluggish, have difficulty thinking clearly and it often impacts their mood. Be sure to focus on maintaining a healthy diet during times of stress as this actually helps in reducing and controlling our mental health symptoms. Also, it’s important to limit alcohol and caffeine as both of these substances can play a direct role in feelings of anxiety. Alcohol, in particular, can work to numb the negative feelings; however, when you are not drinking alcohol, the feelings then return, which can ultimately worsen your situation.

Support System: 

Having a strong support system is an important aspect of managing anxiety symptoms. Support systems can be a variety of people, such as friends, family, sports clubs, therapy groups or even community-based groups. Depending on the situation, it can be helpful to talk to others about what you’re experiencing. If talking to your friends or family has not been helpful or if you are feeling that they may not understand, then perhaps joining support groups with individuals who are experiencing similar situations can be helpful. Support groups can provide a distraction, positive interaction, companionship or other general support needed during a difficult time. 

Master your Time: 

Time management is a critical skill in managing anxiety. This is because if we take on too many tasks or procrastinate and wait until the very last minute, this creates additional stress and contributes to an anxiety-provoking situation. By managing your time wisely and not waiting until the last minute or taking on too many projects, you can reduce the overall anxiety of situations.

Learn to say “no:”

Setting appropriate boundaries and not taking on too many tasks as discussed with time management, can be helpful in learning how to control your anxiety levels. Many people can get caught up in the worry and concern about others, which can lead them to have an increase in their own anxiety. It’s important to realize that by taking on other people’s worry, you ultimately increase your own. So if you are experiencing high levels of anxiety, stress, and worry, try setting better boundaries and say “no” when you need to in order to reduce tasks. 

Get a good night’s sleep:

Getting adequate sleep is actually crucial for both our physical and mental health. People can often find themselves in a negative cycle where worry and anxiety are keeping them awake at night and they find it hard to fall or stay asleep. However, it is also this experience of not getting enough sleep that will actually worsen the anxiety; therefore, adequate sleep is essential. 

There are a few strategies that can assist a positive bedtime routine and better sleep:

    Wind down before bed: For many, spending the last 30 minutes to an hour before bed, to wind down with calming activities can help them sleep better. This means reducing or completely eliminating over-stimulating activities such as watching tv, your phone or exercise. Calming activities may include lighting candles in your house to reduce bright lights, read a book, soak in a hot bath or shower, meditate or use aromatherapy.

    Write in a journal: Writing down your thoughts before bed can be helpful in reducing anxiety and worry that you might experience during the night. People often find that they are focused on their thoughts while trying to go to sleep or something worrisome wakes them in the night. By keeping a journal on your nightstand, you can write down some of these thoughts and attempt to get them out of your mind to create better sleep.

    Speak to your healthcare provider. Lastly, if you have attempted several strategies, repeatedly overtime and still feel that you are unable to get adequate sleep, then talk to your doctor as there may be physical ailments that are contributing to insomnia or perhaps a sleep aid or medication may be appropriate. 

Unplug Regularly:

It’s important that we take time away from technology on a regular basis. This doesn’t have to be something too complicated either. It could be something as simple as putting away your cell phone and turning off your ringer during dinner with your family or something bigger, such as a tech-free weekend. If you work in a job where you are on-call and need to be by your phone, and then schedule time away from tech when it’s your break from on-call. Make this a commitment that will work for you. Staying overly connected to technology, social media, email, and our phones do not give our minds time to actually take a mental break. It keeps us connected, distracted and stressed.

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Life in Balance: Mindfulness & Stress Management Program

For more information and strategies for reducing stress and anxiety, check out our online Mindfulness & Stress Management program. This is an 8-module program that covers: what stress and worry are, the negative impacts of stress, how to live life in better balance, the benefits of calming, strategies to reduce stress, mindfulness, cognitive restructuring and how to establish healthy habits. The program purchase includes a corresponding workbook, at-home assignments, and video series content featuring Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, psychologist & founder of the Loving Roots Project.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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10 Tips for Couples

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Maintaining Intimacy After Having a Baby

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How Gratitude Can Ease a Bad Day

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Tips for Managing Anger

Do you find that you are easily frustrated, quick to anger, or have a hot temper? Managing your anger may be an important skill for you! Through better managing and control of anger, you can feel calmer, less stressed, and let things go more easily. 

Letting anger continue to build can have a detrimental impact on your health. Anger increases stress and anxiety, which can increase blood pressure, sleep disturbance, headaches, and stomach discomfort as well as can have an effect on your cardiac health, impact your immune system, and increase your risk of stroke. 

Working to better control anger can have several positive benefits for your physical, emotional, and mental health. Decreased anger can also have a positive impact on your relationships and overall outlook on life! Below are some tips to help you to work on better managing anger.

Tips for Managing Anger:

Pause before speaking:

This initial step is one of the most obvious, but also one of the hardest. It may take going through the next few steps to actually be able to get your emotions more in control where you are able to think before speaking or reacting. The goal here is to put in a pause when you are feeling overly upset or angry. This pause will allow you to regain your composure before you just speak or react to the situation. 

Take a time-out:

This step is critical in helping you do task #1. When you take a quick time out, then it will allow you to do that pause before reacting. However, for some people, the time out may last for several days. The point is to take a break to allow yourself the space to get your emotions under control. 

Get physically active:

Getting physically active on a regular basis as well as during times of high frustration and anger can be key in calming down and keeping your temper at bay. Having a physical outlet can help to express and get rid of anger in your body. Exercising or taking a walk when you are at peak anger can also provide an immediate decrease in anger. 

Practice mindfulness:

Keeping yourself calm and relaxed is an important skill in managing anger. Mindfulness is a state of being fully in tune with how you are feeling, emotionally, mentally and physically. Being in this heightened state of awareness can be beneficial for many reasons, including having more insight and awareness about yourself as well as being calmer, more relaxed and lowering your anger levels. Try a brief mindfulness practice each day or several times a week to learn how to maintain a state of calm in your daily life. 

Stress management skills:

Anger is often tied to high stress and tension; therefore, it’s important to implement stress management skills. Stress can be completely unavoidable; therefore, developing good coping skills to handle stress is crucial. Be sure to come up with a regular routine in your daily or weekly schedule that can help to reduce the stress and anxiety in your life. Some examples include: meditation, mindfulness, walking, running, reading a book, listening to music, art, knitting, fishing, etc. For more examples, click here.

Let it go: 

An important piece to managing anger is practicing forgiveness. This is crucial because if you don’t let things go, they will only continue to build and actually accumulate. Therefore, expressing your anger (when you’re in a calmer state), letting it go and not holding grudges, is really key to moving forward and reducing anger. 

Look Underneath:

The final tip is to be sure and review what may be underlying your anger. Perhaps you are feeling more stressed than usual, under a large amount of tension or feeling anxious or depressed? It’s important to examine the underlying reasons for your quick to temper state. Taking a few moments to engage in self-reflection can help you to examine any personal issues that may be impacting your mood, which can lead to resolving anger in a better and more effective manner.

It is important to note that if you are finding that you are regularly practicing the above steps and feel that your anger remains out of control, then it may be time to seek professional help. There are often anger management programs in your local area or you can search on online directories to find psychologists or coaches who treat anger and work on self-improvement.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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ONLINE STRESS MANAGEMENT CLASS

Life in Balance: Stress Management & Mindfulness program is an 8-module online class to help you better cope with stress and anxiety, as well as learn strategies for better balance and incorporate mindfulness. This program is a self-guided virtual class that you can complete at your own pace. Click here for more information.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Self-Help Tips for Managing Depression

With numbers as high as 1 in 6, there are many, many people who are impacted by mental health disorders and one of the most common is depression. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that more than 16 million people in the United States, over the age of 18 will experience at least one major depressive episode in a year. Statistics show that 50% of people do not seek treatment. 

Depression is a serious illness and many people respond best to intensive treatment, which may include psychotherapy and medication. However, there are some self-help tips that many people find helpful in the management of their symptoms. These self-help strategies are not meant to replace treatment, but to be a supplement and additional assistance to help combat depression and put people on the path toward betterment. 

Symptoms of Depression: 

• Depressed mood

• Sadness

• Hopelessness

• Diminished interest or pleasure in activities

• Significant weight loss or weight gain

• Sleep disturbance (oversleep or inability to sleep) 

• Psychomotor agitation

• Fatigue and loss of energy 

• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

• Diminished ability to concentrate

• Indecisiveness or recurrent thoughts of death

10 Tips for Managing Depressed Mood:

1. Good Nutrition:

It comes as no surprise, but there is a strong link between healthy eating, good nutrition, and mental health. As we know, there is a strong mind-body connection and therefore, taking care of your body also helps with the care of your mind. This means eating healthy whole foods and cutting out the processed, sugary and refined carb foods can help to improve mood. It is also important to manage caffeine and alcohol intake as both of these substances can play a direct role in mental and emotional wellbeing.

2. Journaling: 

The act of writing is a method to process emotions by fully and honestly disclosing how you are feeling. Processing of your feelings is essential to the management of emotions. Journaling provides an outlet to express your feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space. One specific example of journaling that may be helpful is a gratitude practice. By journaling each day on something or several things that you feel grateful for, it can help to shift your mindset onto something positive, which can improve mood and reduce depression. 

3. Exercise & Physical Activities:

Trying to get more physically active can be very beneficial during times of depression. It is often the opposite of what someone feels like doing, but there is a lot of research that shows the benefit of exercise and the increase of endorphins and other chemicals in the brain during physical activity, which helps to combat depression. So try and push yourself to try a quick walk several times a week.

4. Social Support:

Get involved with social groups or engage with friends. It can be helpful to talk and express your feelings to others. Having meaningful connected relationships are important in times of need and support. Be sure to surround yourself with positive and healthy people. There are also places to find new friends through groups and social networks, such as events on facebook.com or interest groups through sites such as meetup.com. 

5. Mindfulness:

Engaging in mindfulness meditation can serve as a key element in managing difficult moods. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present, aware, and in the moment. This allows you to calm yourself through breathing and a meditative state to be very aware of your emotional state and how you are feeling. This is important during a depressive episode because emotions can be overwhelming and very stressful. This is especially true if you are finding yourself obsessing over your thoughts or that your negative thinking is controlling you and/or your mood. Take a few moments each day to implement a mindfulness practice to allow you to calm your thoughts, mind, and better manage your mood. 

6. Outdoor activities/Sunshine & Fresh Air:

Research shows getting outdoors and surrounding yourself with nature can actually be helpful in lifting one’s mood. As we already know, physical activity can be helpful, but so can getting sunshine. Spending time outside and in sunshine has been found to be effective in combating depression, especially if someone is dealing with a seasonal depression, which occurs more in the cold winter months. 

7. Keep Stress Down:

Managing of life’s stressors is essential for overall coping. Many of the same coping skills that people use and find effective that keep stress levels down, also play an important role in reducing depression. When someone is struggling with depression, they can also feel overwhelmed with feelings of stress. Implementing coping strategies that focus on relaxation and the management of stress, can also help cope with depression.

8. Hobbies & Happiness Activities:

When we are feeling down, it’s important to try to find activities to engage in. This is helpful as a distraction, it also gets you physically and mentally active and depending on the activity, it can help you to express emotions and boost feelings of happiness. Be sure to look for new and engaging hobbies or even everyday activities that could bring enjoyment. Again, it is common that when someone is feeling depressed, they often do not want to engage in a hobby or activity, but just remember it’s these activities, which can help with the management of depressed mood. 

9. Reduce Negative Thinking:

While this is incredibly challenging to do, especially if you are feeling depressed, it does play an important role in managing mood. The power of positive thinking can have strong positive outcomes and is essential in reducing depression. There are several techniques which can help to boost positive thoughts including keeping mood journals, tracking and altering negative thinking, positive thinking apps and engaging in daily affirmations. Positive affirmations are a simple technique to say positive things to yourself which will help to increase the positivity in your thought process. This means starting each day with saying things like, “I can do this,” “I am strong,” or “I deserve to be happy.”

10. Seek Professional Help: 

Major Depressive Disorder is very real and can be a difficult condition. Although this blog is about some example self-help strategies to manage depression, it is important to point out that for many people, self-help strategies will not be as effective as medical treatment. Many people often need a jump start to fighting their depression either by seeking psychotherapy or with medication or both. This is especially true if you ever have thoughts of suicide. Seeking treatment is essential. Depression is a very real and extremely difficult condition to face. There are several treatment options available.

You can search for psychologists in your area for psychotherapy strategies that treat depression, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. An online directory that may be helpful in finding psychologists in your area is psychologytoday.com. It may also be helpful to check with your health insurance plan to find out what your mental health treatment plan options are and search directly through your health insurance for providers in your area. Psychiatrists can also be very effective in prescribing appropriate antidepressant medication that may be helpful in treating depression. You may check with your general practitioner for recommendations and referrals for psychiatric treatment in your area. 

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Resources:

For More Information on Depression: https://www.depression.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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How Gratitude Can Ease a Bad Day

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Tips for Coping with Emotional Pain

Dealing with emotional pain is extremely difficult. Learning how to cope and heal from this pain in a healthy way can be even harder. Emotional pain can come from many circumstances such as grief, loss, trauma, stress or toxic relationships. Developing good coping skills is really essential to the process of healing. We all need outlets. We need healthy ways to express our feelings and emotions. Actually healing from emotional pain is so important and powerful, versus getting stuck and letting negative feelings hinder you from moving forward and living to your full potential.

Most people attempt to avoid emotional pain that they are feeling and this often causes them to get trapped in a cycle that actually ends up holding onto negative emotions. Some people may use unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol or other substances as a means of numbing bad feelings. Often, this is unconscious. This, unfortunately, just temporarily masks the pain and does not actually help in the healing process.

Another common response to negative emotions is simply trying not to deal with them at all. Unfortunately, when we engage in this behavior, emotions do not heal and they will work themselves to the surface, but often in a very negative way. For example, with unresolved grief or other emotional pain, a person may find that they later have an increase in periods of high anxiety or acute stress. They may also notice more physical symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping, upset stomach, constant worry and rumination or even high blood pressure. It is crucial to learn healthy and appropriate ways to work through these difficult emotions. Learning good coping skills and self-care can heal pain and help to move forward. 

10 Tips For Healthy Coping:

1. Write in a journal 

Writing about emotional pain can be very powerful and help to actually release the emotions. Journaling allows you to mentally think about and process your feelings while you are “expressing” them, by writing, which can, in turn, release them and encourage the healing process. There have been many positive benefits seen from journaling about emotional pain. To start journaling, find anything that you feel comfortable writing in and just begin! If it’s more comfortable to be structured or use prompts then think of questions for yourself, such as “how did I get to the place where I am today?” “in my darkest place, I felt …” or “what have I learned from this experience?” The point is to write about your experience in great detail and write thoroughly about how you are feeling. This allows for the “expression” of the emotion and the symbolic “release,” which is critical to healing.

2. Use Your Creativity

This could be drawing, knitting, art, dance, photography, music, pottery, or really any activity that you enjoy. This exercise is similar to writing in a journal as it allows for the release of emotions. Through activities, we are able to find fun, freedom, distraction and often times, relief from holding onto negative emotions. This is another avenue that allows you to process and express emotions; therefore, release and heal from them.

3. Find a Healthy Support System

This could include talking to a friend or family member or even joining support groups. Having a social and emotional outlet is important. Also, speaking with someone and actually saying the words out loud about how you are feeling can be beneficial to healing. One word of caution with this step; however, is to not get too bogged down with just repeatedly venting where it can turn into unhealthy rumination and you get stuck. It’s important that you are using your support system to discuss how you are feeling, in a healthy way.

4. Use Self-Reflection

Think about your own role in the situation that is upsetting you and look for ways in which you can improve. Most of the time, when we become angry at someone else, we finger point and look to blame. We may focus on the ways in which the other person has hurt us or what they have done wrong. It can be important to express how we have been wronged and discuss that with the person who wronged us, but it is also helpful to look at ways in which we could have handled things differently, what we can change about our own behavior or how we can approach a situation differently in the future.

Another example is when people experience a bad situation that is outside of their control and they were victim to something. This can lead people to feel helpless and as though they had no control over their situation. While this may be true, it’s important to focus on what things they can do or change for the future. Perhaps it’s focusing on the positive and building their current relationships or focusing on bettering their health. These are things that we can control and keep us focused on the positive and moving forward.

5. Try Relaxation Techniques

There are many different types of relaxation techniques that can be helpful during the time of emotional pain and stress. These include using simple breathing techniques, meditation or mindfulness activities or it could even include grounding exercises, which are helpful in situations of trauma or acute stress. The point with these activities is to slow yourself down, to be very present in the moment and give yourself an opportunity of calming and healing.

A simple breathing exercise could take just a few short minutes to do and have very helpful effects. Here is an example of a simple breathing exercise: breath in and count to 5 as you are doing so, now hold your breath and count to 5 again and then exhale for 5. Repeat. This will allow you to slow your breathing and pay more focused attention on how you are feeling. After a few minutes of this calm focused breathing, you will notice a calming in your mind and your overall state of being.

6. Distract Yourself

There are times when our emotional state can be overwhelming and difficult to manage. This is when having a distraction could be helpful with coping. A distraction can be something as simple as watching a movie or having coffee with a friend. It just allows you a moment to not think about your emotional pain and in some ways, regain composure and control over how you are feeling. A distraction is a temporary relief strategy, but should not be your constant. It’s important to actually sit with your emotions and heal from them; therefore, distraction is best used only to help you through the process when you need a break or things feel too heavy. Having a temporary break from emotional pain and distracting yourself can be really important in the process.

7. Exercise

Physical exercise is a key component of mind-body wellness. Movement can allow for our negative emotions to become unstuck and actually move; therefore, allowing us to process these emotions and release them. So, do not discount the importance of going for a walk or going to the gym. Exercise can also help in reducing any negative impacts that stress has caused to the body. If you are not someone who exercises often, then a simple 20-minute walk around the neighborhood may be a great place to start to get your body and mind moving.

8. Identify Unhealthy Thinking Patterns

Learn to identify unhealthy patterns with your thinking, such as rumination or negative thinking and work toward changing those patterns. This is a common cognitive-behavioral strategy that is often seen in the management of stress or even depression and trauma. For example, when you notice yourself engaging in negative thinking or ruminating over the bad situation that happened, use self-talk to change that pattern. You can say things like, “I will get through this,” “I am strong” or “I am brave.” First, you must identify when we are not thinking in a healthy manner and then work to change that. Changing the way that we think can have a very positive impact.

9. Sit With Your Emotions

Now, this is the opposite of what I described above with distraction, but both can be healthy and healing in their own way and at the right time. As difficult as it can be, there is importance to just sitting and being present with how you are feeling. This allows you to be very aware, in the present moment with how you are feeling and to not dismiss or hide from painful emotions. It allows for an opportunity to reflect and validate your emotions and how you are feeling. It also allows for you to express these emotions to yourself and perhaps allow yourself time to cry or grieve. This again will help you to process how you are feeling and work toward healing.

10. Look Forward

It is important in the process that we do not get stuck in a negative cycle for too long. It’s crucial to keep moving forward. Of course, you should always allow yourself time to heal because this is an extremely difficult process. However, it is also important that you are working toward progress and looking for a future time when these emotions do not weigh heavily on you. This could include setting goals for something in the future or perhaps making plans for an activity as something to work toward and look forward to. This action of thinking about the future can be helpful. When people are overwhelmed with difficult feelings in the moment, it can be hard to think about the future or even picture a time when they aren’t experiencing this emotional pain. So it’s a challenge, but a purposeful one that can actually be quite helpful. This can get you setting future goals and thinking positively, which helps with healing.

Positive thinking can have a major impact in a good way toward healing. Many people underestimate the power of positive thinking, but it can help us to adjust our mood and the way that we think overall. When we have gone through a difficult situation and are working toward healing from emotional pain, it can be extremely challenging yet helpful to find something positive and meaningful in our situation, such as something we learned from the experience or how we can take a bad experience and move forward in a positive way.

Working through painful emotions is never easy. The importance here is that you are finding healthy activities and coping mechanisms that will promote your healing in a positive way. Each person is different and the situation that they experienced is very different; therefore, the coping strategies and personal preferences will also be different. It’s essential to find things that work well for you and stick to it. Painful emotions take time to heal so don’t give up right away. Keep moving forward and working on your own self-care. Healing will come and you will get through this.

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ONLINE SESSIONS available

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Could the "Winter Blues" Actually be a Seasonal Depression?

As winter and colder weather sets in, many people describe feeling more tired and sometimes even depressed during these months. For some, this is a normal response to having less sunlight and spending less time outdoors due to weather. However, for others, this can actually worsen into a clinical form of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). 

Individuals who experience SAD will notice that they will have depressive symptoms during the winter months, but then those symptoms disappear during spring and summer. This is a recurring experience, every season.

SAD is a relatively common experience, impacting 1-9% of people and is often seen at higher rates in colder and darker areas of the world, that are further away from the equator. For example, individuals living in sunny Florida experience SAD about 1.4% of the time and people in New Hampshire may experience it 9.7% of the time. It is seen more frequently in females and younger adults.

Some of the research studies have indicated that SAD is caused by the amount of serotonin that the person produces during the winter months. Serotonin is a chemical in the brain that helps to regulate mood. Scientists believe that less sunlight during the fall and winter months may lead to the brain making less serotonin. It has also been noted that people who experience SAD also produce higher amounts of melatonin, a natural hormone that increases drowsiness as well as lesser amounts of Vitamin D. All of these chemicals have been noted to impact SAD and one’s experience of depression. 

Some symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder:

1. Sadness and depressed mood

2. Feeling hopeless or worthless

3. Greater need for sleep

4. Fatigue and low energy

5. Increased isolation and need to be alone

6. Weight gain

7. Less energy

8. Trouble concentrating

What can be done? 

The recommended treatment of choice is Light Therapy. Since research has indicated a role in the amount of sunlight one receives with the production of melatonin and serotonin, it is seen as an important intervention. This is thought to impact mood regulation and light therapy is seen as a positive treatment for people with SAD. This therapy is usually provided with a light therapy box. It is recommended to sit in front of the light therapy box daily to gain exposure to artificial light. 

Other treatments may include physicians recommending a Vitamin D supplement if the person has been noted to have a deficiency and/or antidepressant medication or psychotherapy to address any thoughts or behaviors that can be altered to help on alleviating symptoms.

Coping Skills & Prevention:

1. Spend some time outside everyday when possible as daylight may help

2. Eat a balanced diet

3. Get exercising as movement and physical activity are helpful

4. Stay involved with social support

5. Begin using a light box when fall starts, before feeling any negative effects

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Resources:

Suicide Prevention Hotline: (800) 273-8255

Light Therapy Boxes

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/in-depth/seasonal-affective-disorder-treatment/ART-20048298

References:

Leahy, L.G. (2017). Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorder. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services. Nov 1;55(11) 10-14.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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5 Tips for Maintaining Sobriety During the Holidays

The holiday season can be a fun and joyous occasion that is filled with family gatherings, work parties, and spirit-filled festivities, but it’s also a stressful time that can bring on triggers of unhealthy behavior and make it difficult to cope with certain situations. This is particularly true for those who are newly sober or in recovery and attempting to manage the holiday season sober. Many people have access to indulgent food and alcoholic beverages; therefore, creating plenty of temptation and pressure. With this combination of heightened emotions being triggered and the availability and temptation of alcohol, it can be very difficult to manage.

Here are some tips for managing alcohol during the holidays:

1. Plan Ahead:

Going into the holiday season, we already know challenges and stressful situations will arise, so it's imperative to be prepared. Have a backup plan for when you need to leave a party abruptly or even bring your support system along with you to events. You may also need to strategize surviving certain events where more alcohol may be present than others. Perhaps you bring along an interesting non-alcoholic beverage to enjoy or plan a very brief appearance to minimize any triggers or temptations that you might feel while attending these events. 

2. Coping Skills:

It's important that you are managing your own health and wellness during high-stress events, including the holiday season. This should be a top priority. Implementing coping skills is really key to managing difficult and challenging emotions as well as situations. Coping skills are strategies that we use to help us manage our response and reactions to these challenges. Some ideas for coping include: going for a walk or other exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and listening to music. If you are beginning to feel overwhelmed while at a holiday event, excuse yourself to take a quick break and use your coping strategies. Self-care is critical during this time to stay on your path to recovery.

3. Set Clear Boundaries:

If you are at a holiday event and are feeling uncomfortable, then set a clear boundary about how you are feeling. Express this discomfort to others or leave the engagement. This is especially true if you are newly sober and get offered alcohol. Being around alcohol can be very triggering so it's important that you set clear boundaries right from the start. This way, the other person isn't constantly trying to pressure you into drinking and is aware of where you stand. Another idea is to the designated driver. This way you can set a clear boundary you are not drinking that others should respect. The path to recovery is a challenging one and it's important that people are aware of and respect your boundaries. If you feel that your social network does not respect and honor your boundaries, then it may be time to develop a new, healthy and respectful support system.

4. Build Your Support Network:

As we know, people can get triggered during the holidays, so it's important to have a healthy support network available to you during this time. Perhaps this is a sober friend, sponsor or significant other who can go to the party with you to be a strong support system at the event. Another idea is to have people who are willing to be available for a quick phone call or visit so that you are able to discuss how you are feeling and be supported. When people know ahead of time that a loved one is struggling, they will often carve out time to ensure they are available to be a listening ear. 

5. Monitor Your Emotional State:

Managing your emotions is critical during high-stress situations, such as the holidays or family dinners. It's important that you are monitoring how you feel and are implementing your coping skills when necessary. Be sure to take the time that you need and give yourself some space. Recovery is very challenging and is a top priority. Monitoring your emotional state and implementing coping skills when needed is crucial. Perhaps there is bickering at your family dinner and you feel overwhelmed, then it's important to step back and take a few moments for some self-care. You could go for a walk or excuse yourself to another room while you can composure over your feelings. The point is to make that time for yourself.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Self-Care Tips for Postpartum Depressio

A postpartum depression can be seen anytime within the first year after childbirth, and between 10-20% of mothers suffer from postpartum depression. This depression can be seen not only after childbirth, but also sometimes during pregnancy, following a miscarriage, stillbirth or termination of a pregnancy. A woman may experience several symptoms during or after pregnancy, which will impact her ability to accomplish daily tasks. 

Many women experience emotional changes after childbirth; however, some differences between postpartum depression and “the baby blues” are that postpartum depression is less common, lasts for a longer period of time, the symptoms are more intense, and the effect influences a woman’s ability to function as she normally would. 

Many women feel embarrassed or guilty for feeling this way. However, receiving treatment is essential to help mothers effectively parent their child. Mothers may be greatly impacted by these feelings and thus lose confidence in their ability to parent, which can also increase their depression. The research shows that postpartum depression can impact the infant by causing distress, difficulty with emotional bonding, delays in development, and behavioral problems. 

Postpartum depression symptoms may include: 

• Irritability 

• Sadness

• Trouble concentrating

• Feelings of guilt and worthlessness 

• Loss of interest or pleasure in life 

• Loss of appetite 

• Less energy or motivation to do things

• A hard time falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping more than usual 

• Increased crying

• Feeling hopeless or overly guilty 

• Restlessness or anxiety

• Unexplained weight loss or weight gain 

• Having thoughts about hurting yourself or about hurting your baby 

Here are some tips for helping yourself: 

1. Take some of the pressure off yourself. You are not “Supermom”. Be honest about how much you can do and be willing to ask others for help. This could include help during nighttime feedings, such as having your partner bring the baby to you at night, or help with household chores from a family member, neighbor, friend, or professional services. This social support will help you find time for yourself so you can rest. 

2. Finding time for rest is important. Take frequent naps when another person is helping you or when the baby is also sleeping. 

3. Talk about your feelings! Speak with friends, family, and your partner about what you are feeling. This can help to alleviate some of your emotional pain as well as find support in others. 

Another idea is to keep a journal to write in daily, which can assist you in expressing your feelings and "letting it all out." 

4. Find time to spend alone, just something for yourself, which could include reading, exercising (such as walking), taking a bath, writing in your journal, or meditating. 

5. Understand your feelings. Know that you are not alone, and that it's okay and normal to feel overwhelmed. Bringing a child into the world brings many changes and many challenges. 

6. Find additional support. Call a local hotline number, see the resources below for information and services, join a local support group for women, or seek professional therapy.

Postpartum depression is very real and can be very serious. Seek professional help when needed.

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Resources:

Postpartum Support International: (800) 944-4773

http://www.postpartum.net

Postpartum Depression

https://www.postpartumdepression.org

Suicide Hotline: (800) 273-TALK

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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