9 Essential Self-Care Tips for the Holiday Season
9 Simple Self-Care Tips for the Holidays
The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—but it can also bring stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm. Amidst the hustle and bustle, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Here’s a deeper dive into nine practical self-care tips to help you stay balanced and at peace this holiday season.
The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—but it can also bring stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm. Amidst the hustle and bustle, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Here’s a deeper dive into nine practical self-care tips to help you stay balanced and at peace this holiday season.
1. Set Boundaries
Between family gatherings, gift exchanges, and work parties, your schedule can fill up quickly. Saying “no” to events or obligations that don’t align with your energy levels or values is an act of self-care. Politely declining an invitation can free up time to recharge.
2. Stay Hydrated
It’s easy to forget the basics amidst the excitement. Drinking plenty of water keeps your energy steady and helps counteract indulgent holiday treats. Keep a reusable water bottle handy as a gentle reminder.
3. Prioritize Sleep
Late-night festivities are fun, but consistently losing sleep can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Make rest a non-negotiable priority. Stick to a regular bedtime when possible and allow your body to recover.
4. Take Breaks
The hustle of holiday shopping or prepping for guests can be overwhelming. Schedule short breaks throughout the day to pause, breathe, or step outside for fresh air. Even 10 minutes can make a difference.
5. Limit Social Media
While social media can inspire, it often fuels comparison and anxiety during the holidays. Take a step back from scrolling and focus on meaningful, in-person interactions or quiet moments with yourself.
6. Move Your Body
Staying active is a great way to boost your mood and relieve stress. A simple walk around the block, a quick yoga session, or even dancing to your favorite holiday songs can help you feel refreshed.
7. Practice Gratitude
Amid the holiday chaos, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing or stressful. Shift your perspective by jotting down three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude fosters positivity and keeps your spirits lifted.
8. Treat Yourself
The holidays often revolve around giving, but don’t forget to treat yourself. Whether it’s a cozy blanket, a favorite snack, or a good book, small indulgences can bring you joy and comfort.
9. Ask for Help
You don’t have to do everything on your own. Delegate tasks or ask friends and family for support. Sharing the load can ease stress and create opportunities for connection.
The holiday season should be a time of joy—not burnout. By incorporating these self-care strategies, you can enjoy the season while keeping your mental and physical health intact. Remember: taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential.
Wishing you peace and happiness this holiday season!
Reasons Behind Lack of Affection in a Relationship
It is common and normal to experience different levels of intimacy in your relationship as this tends to fluctuate. Many partners can fear that the lack of affection is about them or the health of the relationship. Here are some reasons why someone may not being showing affection that have nothing to do with their partner or the relationship.
Have you ever experienced times in your relationship when you felt that your partner was not as affectionate or was neglecting your needs for intimacy and comfort? In most relationships, the level of physical affection and intimacy tends to fluctuate over time. Relationships tend to ebb and flow in terms of intimacy level and closeness. People often worry that when their partner is not showing them physical intimacy, it means something bad about them or the relationship itself. While there are situations where that might be the case, there are also times when your partner may not be demonstrating affection, and it has nothing to do with you or the health of your relationship.
Here are some reasons your partner might not be showing affection:
1. Different Boundaries & Personality:
People have varying comfort levels when expressing affection. For example, when someone grows up in a family that rarely shows affection, they may feel more uncomfortable demonstrating physical affection in their relationships. This has nothing to do with their partner, but it's simply a different boundary and comfort zone for the person. It is not something that they are used to or comfortable with. Personality also plays a role in people's level of comfort with showing affection. Introverts may feel less comfortable expressing affection, whereas extroverts often and easily show affection. We must understand our partner's comfort level, but we can still strive to communicate and gain insight into how we can work to meet each other's needs.
Another familiar theory highlighting the differences between partners is Dr. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. He explains that we have different ways of giving and receiving love. For example, if your love language is "physical touch" and your partner's is "words of affirmation," you may continually attempt to demonstrate love through physical touch, but they may be seeking words of affirmation instead, which could lead to misunderstanding and hurt feelings. This difference can also leave people feeling unloved, unwanted, and uncared for.
2. Feeling Too Comfy:
It is common in relationships that when a couple has been together for quite a while, they can feel very comfortable and forget the key aspects of courtship and affection. When we are first dating, there is often more attention placed on demonstrating affection. Once a comfort level is established, it is common for many people to put less effort into showing affection to their partner. The lack of demonstration is not necessarily due to a lack of desire for your partner but rather to feeling very comfortable and not putting forth the same amount of effort and attention.
It's crucial that we continually make an effort and put forth time and dedication to our partnership, as it's key to maintaining the emotional and physical connection as well as the overall happiness and satisfaction in the relationship.
3. Difficulties with Vulnerability:
For many people, showing affection is a very intimate act. When someone is feeling fearful or closed off to intimacy, they will often avoid initiating any affection altogether. This could be due to something that has happened to them previously, in other relationships, or even in childhood. The person may be more closed off and resistant to physical affection, as well as emotional vulnerability. People can often put up emotional barriers or walls to prevent themselves from being too open or vulnerable with someone else.
This is often an issue about them, their comfort level with intimacy, and not always about their partner. It can be difficult for many people to show affection, not because they don't want to, but because it is very uncomfortable and challenging for them to do so. Demonstrating affection requires courage and vulnerability; therefore, if someone is not feeling brave or wants to put themselves out there in a vulnerable way, they will not be as willing to demonstrate affection. Addressing this discomfort and taking responsibility for reducing emotional walls and barriers we may put up in a relationship is essential.
4. Imbalance in Priorities:
When individuals become preoccupied with other areas of our lives, such as work, school, or social aspects, we can unintentionally neglect other aspects of our lives. This lack of prioritizing affection toward a partner may not be due to a lack of desire but simply because our attention is focused elsewhere. It is common that if one partner has something significant happening in their life that is taking their complete focus or creating high levels of stress, such as a major work project, then they can get off balance and "forget" to demonstrate affection with their partner. It takes having a healthy balance and prioritizing your partner and relationship to maintain physical affection, intimacy, and connection within the partnership.
5. Insecurities & Difficulty with Self-Esteem:
There may be times when someone feels less secure or confident within themselves. This could be due to body image issues or just overall self-esteem. Often, when someone lacks confidence, they are less likely to initiate affection. They may be experiencing more discomfort and, therefore, do not feel as secure within themselves to demonstrate their feelings toward their partner.
These types of challenges often have to do with their issues related to self-esteem and confidence and nothing to do with their partner. However, it is essential to note that when we are facing a personal challenge that directly impacts our relationship and our partner, it is crucial to take steps toward addressing these issues. Not only does working toward managing your self-esteem and insecurities bring you more growth and happiness, but it will also positively impact your partner and relationship.
6. Mental Health:
It is common that when someone is experiencing a disturbance in their emotional and mental health, they may not demonstrate as much affection as they would at other times. Some mental health examples include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder. When someone is in distress due to an emotional imbalance, they are less likely to show affection to their partner. If you notice your partner is experiencing mental health symptoms, then it is essential to talk with them about how they are feeling and ask if you can be of support or help them to seek professional help.
Understanding of these reasons for lack of affection can help promote healthier communication on the subject between partners. Although the reasons above demonstrate that the lack of affection in a relationship may not be due to a lack of love toward a partner or even an indication of the health of the relationship, often and over time, this lack of affection can be damaging to a partnership and have a direct impact on the happiness of the couple. Read more below on our blog for ways to increase lack of affection in a relationship.
So what can you do?
Read more in our blog on Ways to Increase Affection in Your Relationship:
Professional services are available
If you are needing professional support or are interested in relationship coaching, individual psychotherapy services, or couples counseling, virtual services are available. You can read more about Online Services with Dr. Shelley. Sessions are available for individuals or couples and appointments can be booked online or simply email with any questions or appointment requests.
Free Facebook Group About Relationships
If you’d like to hear more on relationship topics and tips for couples, be sure to JOIN our free and closed Facebook group called The Couples Collaborative. This is an online support group that is closed and private. It provides tips and inspirational material for couples as well as supportive discussions on challenging relationship-related issues.
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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.
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While we may all know that quality time with our partners is essential as it boosts our connection, it can be challenging to think of new and creative ways to spend time together. Many couples may face challenges arranging babysitting, and others may be financially strained due to rising living costs, finding going out to be expensive. Alternatively, some may simply enjoy the comfort of their own home and, therefore, would like to find activities they can enjoy there.