Simple Steps to Creating Healthy Habits

A healthy habit is any behavior or activity that is beneficial for your physical, mental or emotional health. They may include things like good nutrition, exercise, self-care routine, stress management, or happiness related hobbies. These positive and healthy habits can lead to an overall happier and healthier lifestyle. 

When we focus on creating change in our life, one way to work toward this change is by creating healthy habits in our daily schedule. Many people may think of goal setting to create change and while this can be very helpful, for most, the longer-lasting change will come from creating habits rather than just short-term goals.

There is a major difference between goal setting and habit formation although much of the idea may overlap. A habit is more of an automatic response than a goal you set out to achieve, which forces you to think about and work toward. A habit is something ingrained in you and your routine, that you do it without much thought. 

Setting healthy habits in your life that can be incorporated into your daily routine show higher success rates with actually reaching the target than simply setting goals. The research shows that habit formation is more likely to last and create long-term response than goal setting.

6 Tips to Start Healthy Habits:

1. Make a mental shift

   Consider why it’s important to change something in your life and contemplate the good and positive reasons for doing so. You could even make a list of why your new desired habit is a good thing and write down the negatives for your current behavior or action that you are trying to change.

2. Think about the long-term

   It can be helpful to focus on the long-term and reflect on your life in the future. Think about how you would like things to look, whether that is with your health, relationships, work, etc. This will allow you to see things on a bigger level and change your focus from short-term goal setting to overall healthy habits. For example, if you have a weight loss or health goal, then it is healthier to think of it as altering your lifestyle to a healthier one rather than just to lose 20lbs. A healthier lifestyle will include positive habits such as eating healthy and exercising, which you can work to include in your daily routine.

3. Start small and reasonable

   One of the best ways to start a new healthy habit is to start small and build. People often set a goal that is too big and then it will be impossible to reach. For example, a goal may be to go to the gym daily, but a better way to start might be to focus ongoing 2 days a week, then 3, and so on. Again, as with the step above, you should also focus on your overall healthy lifestyle rather than just a simple goal as well. This can help you to be more successful with achieving the task and being able to better incorporate it into your lifestyle.

4. Incorporate the new behavior into your daily routine

   It’s important to plug in your new habit into your routine so that it can be more of a habit. Be sure to work out a plan for how you will incorporate this into your day-to-day life. When we can add a new behavior into our already established routine, then we are more likely to be successful with following through with this task. If we set something up that is not usual or regular for us and is too difficult to accomplish, then we are less likely to be successful.

5. Have cues to prompt and remind:

   When you plug a new habit into your routine, you must have consistent cues and reminders that will set us up for success to follow through with the new behavior. If you are hoping to add the gym to your daily schedule as you work toward developing a healthier lifestyle, then you may want to set a reminder on your cell phone calendar that will prompt you to remember the gym or even pack your gym bag and set it on the seat of your car. 

6. Have rewards that will reinforce

   It is also important to reward yourself for your progress toward your goal. This will help to maintain motivation and continued desire to follow through with your goals. So be sure to give yourself something positive that will encourage your continued hard work, such as some new workout clothes or a gym bag if you are working on a healthy lifestyle. No matter the reward, just remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself much needed encouragement.

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Maintaining a Healthy Sense of Self in a Relationship

Maintaining self in a relationship is an important aspect of happiness within yourself and your marriage. Keeping a sense of self is crucial to your own empowerment, self-worth, independence, happiness and the satisfaction in your relationship. 

Holding onto yourself while in a partnership means maintaining your own identity as well as taking care of yourself, your own needs and your own goals. This is an important component of self-care. This is something that can actually lead to relationship happiness as well.

It’s much more common that when there are challenges in a relationship, people focus solely on repairing the issues between the two people and while this is extremely important and you won’t be able to resolve relationship conflict without doing that, people often forget that each party also needs focus. It’s crucial that each person is working on themselves. Remember: a healthy relationship cannot exist without 2 healthy people. Actually working on yourself is a critical component to relationship betterment.

components of maintaining SELF while in a relationship:

Take time for you:

Taking care of yourself is one of the most essential parts of being a healthy person. So be sure that you are making it a priority to take care of yourself. Your own self-care means taking into account your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. Again, people tend to focus on the wellbeing of their relationship rather than also putting emphasis on their own wellbeing.

Maintain your own identity & interests:

People often have a misconception that they need to spend all their free time with their partner and share all of the same interests. While shared interests can be exciting and make the relationship fun because you get to enjoy things together, it is also okay to have some differences and separate interests and activities. So be sure that you are holding true to you and your own identity even while you are in a relationship. And have some separate activities or time with friends that are just for you. 

Surround yourself with healthy people:

Many people can become negatively influenced by unhealthy people in their life, so be sure that you surround yourself with positive and supportive friends and family. This means reducing drama and negativity that’s around you. Find people to add to your support network who lift you up and care for you.

Be a loving person to yourself, your partner, and others: 

It’s been known that the more positive energy you put out in the world, the more you will also receive. So focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be and treat others with kindness and compassion. This especially includes your partner. When you are in a relationship, focus on being a good partner yourself and you will likely experience reciprocity.

Find balance: 

Maintaining a good balance in your life means juggling your self-identity, your relationship, your work, your physical health, your friends, etc. This means if you have gotten out of balance with something in your life, such as your health, or your friendships, then work to get these things back in balance. When things are out of balance, that can impact the health of our relationship as well.  

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JOIN OUR FREE FACEBOOK GROUP ON RELATIONSHIPS:

If you’d like to read more on relationship topics and hear tips for couples, be sure to JOIN our free Facebook group called The Couples Collaborative. This is a free, but private and closed online support group that is listed under the Loving Roots Project Facebook page. The group is facilitated by Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Coach and provides tips and inspirational material for couples and supportive discussions on challenging relationship-related issues.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are interested in relationship coaching, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Services are available for individuals or couples. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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A Holistic Approach to Mind-Body Wellness

There is a strong connection between the mind and the body. When you’re working on your own personal development, it’s essential that you address both your physical health needs and your mental health needs. When it comes to health and wellness, it is no wonder when we’re not well physically it impacts us emotionally and when we’re not feeling well mentally this impacts our physical health. This means that your mindset, attitude, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, your emotional state; they all directly impact your physical health and vice versa.

Research shows that mind-body therapies such as relaxation, hypnosis, visual imagery, meditation, biofeedback, even cognitive-behavioral therapy have all been helpful at managing certain physical illnesses such as arthritis and pain management. These studies indicate that mind-body focused activities can actually help to improve psychological functioning, they can reduce the symptoms of disease and increase one’s overall quality of life.

Nutrition has also been seen as having a large role in mental health and cognitive functioning. There is quite a bit of research that shows the brain-gut connection; therefore, maintaining a healthy gut with good foods can help to promote positive mental health and cognitive function. Nutrition can directly impact things such as memory, processing speed, mood (depression and anxiety) as well as physical energy and mental focus and attention.

What is having a holistic approach to wellness?

A holistic view takes into account all of our bodily systems working together to optimize our functioning. It means that we believe further in the relationship of all of the systems being interrelated and impacting one another. For example, nutrition impacting the brain, mental health impacting physical health or more specifically depression impacting pain management.

Having a holistic view is critical as views us as a whole being and takes into account all parts of our life: our physical body, our emotional wellbeing, our mental health, cognition, and spiritual being. This also goes to show how important things like nutrition are for both our physical and mental health. This mind-body and holistic view means taking care of all aspects of yourself and making good healthy decisions from a well-rounded perspective.

Activities to Boost Mind-Body Wellness:

• Make healthy nutrition food choices

• Pray, meditate, pause or breathe

• Engage in stress management

• Be thankful, engage in a gratitude practice

• Exercise your body

• Walk or get outdoors and enjoy

• Deepen your connections with others

• Foster friendships

• Positive thinking

• Production with work

• Active in hobbies and activities for enjoyment

• Get good sleep

• Focus on self-love, happiness, and greater self-esteem

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ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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Finding Happiness in Everyday Things

Do you feel that you have difficulty finding time for activities that you love? Many people don’t take on new hobbies or activities simply because they don’t feel they have enough time, but it’s these activities and hobbies that can help bring happiness and enjoyment in life. So what about utilizing the activities that you already do? Can you maximize on those in order to increase meaning and happiness in your life? Many activities that we already do can actually become therapeutic and assist us when we are in the right mindset. This has many personal benefits, such as creativity, meaning, stimulation, distraction, and emotional healing.

People use going to the gym, exercising, knitting, gardening, painting, cooking, etc. as their own type of “therapy” without even realizing it. Although activities cannot truly replace psychotherapy, the point is, we can often make everyday activities therapeutic in some way if we set our mind and intention to do so. This requires you to really think about the activity before doing it and setting your mind to making the activity therapeutic for you. This can supplement personal growth and add deeper meaning and intention to our lives. This means that the activity is not just a mindless activity, but it’s something that can actually be beneficial to our mental, emotional or spiritual health and it adds to our life, meaning, and purpose.

These activities can be helpful for us to disengage from our day to day life, distract us from challenges we may be facing, reduce stress, assist us processing difficult emotions, help us pay more attention, focus in the present moment, and overall provide us with opportunities to engage in positive activities that bring meaning and health to our life.

You can increase the therapeutic benefit of everyday activities by following these steps:

Select: Choose an activity that will be meaningful to you in some way. So maybe it’s something that’s important for your health, such as exercise. Or maybe it's an everyday activity that you’re already engaged in, that’s important to you, such as walking your dog. Put some thought into an activity in which you feel that you can be mentally present. This needs to be something that fits you, your personality and interests. For example, many people find cooking to be therapeutic, but if you hate to cook, then that is probably not the best activity for you! Find something that you enjoy and believe that you can find meaning in.

Pause: Take a moment to pause before you begin your activity. Be present, mindful, and in the moment. Mindfulness is about being completely in tune and highly aware of a given moment. This is a chance to reflect on the activity, how you are feeling and focus on how this activity will be therapeutic for you. Take the time to think about how this is a therapeutic activity that you enjoy and are using in a way to promote health and happiness. For example, before walking your dog, think to yourself what the benefits are of the activity and how this might be helpful for you. So you may think about the physical benefits of walking as well as the benefit of stress reduction and the help of distracting your mind and mentally “clearing your head” while walking.

Enjoy: Often, we get into a routine of doing an activity and we go into autopilot, without even paying attention to the activity that we are doing. If you are wanting to make an activity therapeutic, then it's important that you are following these recommendations in order to really pause before engaging in the activity and be more mindful and present in the moment. This will allow the activity to have more meaning for you, bring more fulfillment and more joy. So be sure that once you have selected an activity with purpose and intention, you will then pause for a moment to be mindful and present. Lastly, enjoy the activity and make the most of the moment. This way, you are more likely to reap the benefits of a therapeutic and healing activity.

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Online services are available

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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30 Activities to Reduce Stress

We live in a fast-paced, quick moving and stressful world. At times, it’s hard to even find a moment of calmness. Stress impacts us physically and mentally. It impacts the ability to focus, to be more productive, it disturbs sleep, impacts relationships as well as overall happiness. Most of the time, it’s impossible to fully remove all the stress in our lives, so what else can we do? How can we plug in a relaxing activity that will offset and lower stress? 

Well, there are lots of fun ideas out there to help relieve stress, but first, let’s discuss how you begin such a routine.

Take the time: 

This is probably the most important step to learning to relax and reduce stress. It is most crucial because no matter how many relaxing ideas we come up with if you do not take the time to actually pause and take a break, it will never work. Set aside a reasonable amount of time that is needed and set up a plan for how you will accomplish this. We often feel we do not have enough time as it is. So find a few moments in your daily routine to engage in a fun and relaxing activity. For example, you may set a reminder on your phone to meditate or go for a walk or you may plan to play relaxing music in the car on your way home from work every day. It’s just important that you find the right thing that works for you and you set aside the time to actually follow through with the activity.

Relax your mind: 

Be in the present moment when you are engaging in the activity. This is key to actually relaxing. Many people may focus on the physical aspects of relaxation, which is also important, but if you are not relaxing your mind, then your body also cannot relax. Think of how strong the mind-body connection can be and how important it is to address both aspects of ourselves at one time. If you get a massage, which may feel wonderful physically, but you do not address the mental aspect of calming, then your mind stays in a state of stress; therefore, impacting your body. Engage in mindfulness and take a brief mental pause. Also, if you are not mentally engaged in the activity and you are staying in a stressed state of mind, then you will not experience the maximum benefit. The goal here is to relax your mind as best you can and stay focused in the present moment with the activity that you are engaged in. In order to relax the mind, slow yourself, calm your breathing, and focus on your current state.

Practice: 

Now is the important step of finding an activity that is actually helpful for you in both mind and body that will help you to relax. Try a variety of activities and practice! What one person does to relax, may not help the next person. It is important that you find the right activity for you. You may hate reading, so reading a book will not be a relaxing activity for you so while that may be helpful for many, it might not work for you. Start by making a list of activities that you think would be relaxing or that you have seen others do that helped them to relax. Try them! Take the time to test out some different activities to see if you find them relaxing. Be sure to find activities that will target both mind and body.

Here is a list of 30 fun activities that will help reduce stress:

1. Going for a walk or exercising

2. Taking a bath or shower

3. Practicing deep breathing

4. Reading a book, newspaper or magazine    

5. Practicing meditation or mindfulness

6. Listening to relaxing music

7. Getting a massage

8. Sewing, knitting, cross stitching 

9. Doing yoga

10. Petting your dog or cat

11. Horseback riding

12. Writing in a journal

13. Reading a book

14. Talking to a friend

15. Watching a movie

16. Playing a musical instrument

17. Arts and crafts

18. Gardening

19. Playing games

20. Practicing gratitude

21. Completing puzzles

22. Taking a nap

23. Having a spa night at home

24. Practicing positive self-talk

25. Engaging in a hobby

26. Drinking soothing tea

27. Getting a good night’s sleep

28. Reducing caffeine intake

29. Disconnecting from tech

30. Trying aromatherapy

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Online services are available

If you are needing support or are interested in relationship coaching, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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ONLINE STRESS MANAGEMENT CLASS

Life in Balance: Stress Management & Mindfulness program is an 8-module online class to help you better cope with stress and anxiety, as well as learn strategies for better balance and incorporate mindfulness. This program is a self-guided virtual class that you can complete at your own pace. Click here for more information.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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Finding Joy Through Hobbies

The demands of life can sometimes leave us feeling stuck in daily routines with an overall dissatisfaction in life. So how do we change that? How can we add a bit of excitement back into our lives and increase our overall satisfaction and happiness?

Well, one way is to give hobbies a try! January is National Hobby Month and while hobbies are just common activities that people engage in as something fun to do, they often do not realize that hobbies also have so many benefits for our mind and body wellness. Below, I will describe a few.

Here are 5 Benefits of Hobbies:

1.Coping Skills

Hobbies can serve as coping skills and be positive strategies to help you cope with challenging situations. They can be an outlet for expression of emotions, whether that’s through art, drawing, writing, music, group meetings, painting, etc. Finding an outlet to express your feelings is crucial to coping with life’s challenges. Hobbies can also serve as a good distraction from everyday stressors. While hobbies provide us with something fun to do, they can also serve as a distraction from thinking about everyday stress and challenges that we face. This can be a critical component of an overall self-care program.

2. Sense of achievement and mastery

Hobbies and new activities can give us a surprising sense of achievement through growth and mastery. Learning something new can be a challenge; however, when we begin to develop mastery with the new activity, this helps us gain new skills and make us feel good about ourselves and our accomplishments. This not only provides joy, but it can also boost self-esteem and confidence. Just don’t forget to have fun with the activity that you’ve chosen and not get too caught up in the competition of it!

3. Social connection

One of the most beneficial areas to which hobbies can provide, is an avenue for social connection. Many hobbies are in fact ones that you may do alone; however, there are often groups that meet to participate in the activity all together. For example, there are often online groups, forums, workshops or other ways that people connect through a shared interest. For people who are seeking social connection this can be a huge support. It allows for a feeling of togetherness, companionship and shared interests, which reduce isolation and loneliness. 

4. Meaningful activity

Hobbies can also provide an activity to engage in that can be meaningful and provide a sense of fulfillment. Often times, people find that when they are engaging in something that they enjoy, life feels more fulfilling and that they are living with more meaning and purpose. This increases satisfaction with life and overall happiness. It also helps to take us out of living a day-to-day routine that may feel mundane or boring. Hobbies can bring a new joyful purpose to one’s life.

5. Mental or physical stimulation

Depending on the type of hobby or activity that you are involved in, some provide mental stimulation that can be good for your brain and mental functioning, while others can provide beneficial physical stimulation. Activities, such as reading, puzzles, needlepoint, etc. allow you to mentally focus, which can stimulate your thought process in a new and different ways as well as work on memory and other cognitive tasks. This can be helpful for your mind and cognitive abilities. Hobbies that provide physical stimulation include things like playing in a sports league, walking, hiking, travel, etc. These can be helpful to increase your exercise levels and keep you physically healthy.

So, if you aren’t already engaged in a hobby or haven’t considered starting one, you should now! Try searching online for some new activities or groups near you. Think of things that interest you and go for it. There are so many great benefits to come.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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