Developing a Gratitude Mindset

Gratitude is more than just feeling thankful or saying “thank you” to someone, it’s a deeper appreciation for someone or something that produces longer lasting positivity. Engaging in a regular practice of gratitude can give us many positives in our lives. Gratitude can change our perspective for the better and force more positive thinking. This positivity can play a role in having a healthier lifestyle with less worry, stress, and negativity. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to an overall healthier and happier life.

In this article, we will discuss getting into the right mindset that will foster a sentiment of gratitude. This can be challenging, however. First, let’s review some of the benefits of gratitude and then we’ll review ways to develop a gratitude practice.

Benefits of Gratitude:

Increased Coping and Resilience: 

Gratitude allows you to be able to forgive and move on from challenging situations more easily. When we consistently focus on the positive, it can be easier to move forward when situations become difficult. Gratitude also increases our ability to cope with challenges as well as emotional and mental health challenges.

Gratitude can help people navigate challenges with greater strength and optimism. It shifts focus from what’s lacking to what’s already present, making it easier to cope with adversity.

Increased Self-Confidence: 

When we focus more on the positive, we often feel better, not only about the things around us but also about ourselves. Regularly practicing gratitude can uplift mood and boost self-confidence.  Gratitude helps reduce negative emotions like envy, resentment, and frustration, replacing them with more positive feelings, which allow for you to better focus on your own growth and confidence. Regularly reflecting on what you’re thankful for can lower stress and increase overall life satisfaction.

Increased Empathy & Overall Happiness: 

When showing gratitude, you are less likely to hold anger and resentment, which leads to overall happiness. This practice can also allow for increased empathy and care for others. Focusing on what you're grateful for increases positive emotions and overall happiness. Over time, gratitude rewires the brain to become more attuned to the good in life, fostering a more optimistic outlook.

Improved Physical Health: 

People who practice gratitude tend to take better care of their bodies. They are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthier, and have better sleep quality. Additionally, gratitude has been linked to lower blood pressure and a stronger immune system. Expressing appreciation often tends to lead to less stress and anger, which have been shown to improve overall physical health.

Tips to start a regular gratitude practice:

Set a goal:

The first step to starting any new goal or habit is to simply set a goal for yourself. You can set up a timeline or date for when you hope to accomplish your goal and then tell others about your plan to hold yourself accountable. Be sure to make your goal reasonable and set reminders for yourself throughout your daily routine. Like any habit, consistency is key. Whether you practice gratitude in the morning, before bed, or at another set time, keeping it part of your routine helps it become second nature.

Practice:

Dedicate yourself to this project and achieving your goal. This means consistently working toward achieving your goal as well as practicing regularly. Take a moment during daily activities to pause and appreciate the present moment. Whether it’s enjoying your morning coffee or taking a walk, practicing mindful gratitude helps you stay grounded in the moment.

Allow for errors & keep going:

You must allow yourself errors and mistakes while setting a new goal or habit in your life. For many, it’s common that once they miss their goal for a day or week, then they completely give up and stop working toward the outcome. It’s important that you forgive yourself for these errors and just get back on track when you can. The most important aspect when you are trying to achieve a goal or healthy habit is progress. Just keep trying and keep moving forward.

Keep it simple

Try creating a gratitude journal. Writing down things that you are grateful for will keep things in perspective and remind you of the positive things in your life. Write down three to five things you're grateful for each day can help make gratitude a habit. They don’t have to be big—small, everyday moments like a delicious meal or a kind word from a friend can be just as impactful. Reflecting on these entries over time will remind you of the good things in life.

Simply express gratitude to others: 

Say thank you when you can. Express to others when you appreciate something they have done for you or for being in your life. Share compliments and praise for others. These small tokens of appreciation can go a long way. Go beyond private reflections—express your gratitude to others.

Reflect often: 

Include a gratitude exercise during meditation, end of day or morning reflection, during a walk, etc. Include positivity based activity or action and set a goal to think of one thing that you are thankful for. You can also get a daily inspirational calendar or engage in positive social media or apps that promote gratitude.

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ONLINE SESSIONS

For more information on virtual counseling services, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Remote services are provided online through an online HIPAA compliant web portal, which allows for you to be in the comfort of your own home during your sessions and have increased privacy & confidentiality. Online appointments may also be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Simple Steps to a Calm Mind

Rushing through our day-to-day lives, juggling work, family, and errands can be hectic, chaotic, stressful and constantly busy. It can feel hard to stop your mind at the end of the day. This mental exhaustion can have impacts on our concentration, memory, focus and even sleep. Taking a few moments each day to calm the mind and just breathe, can have incredible benefits. One popular strategy for calming the mind is through meditation or mindfulness.

Mindfulness is described as a mental state in which a person is highly present and aware of their own body, mind, thoughts, and surroundings. We are often not fully aware of how we may feel in a given moment or what specific thoughts are present in our minds. We are usually on autopilot. By increasing awareness of one’s physical and mental experience, this can assist in building appreciation for various aspects of life as well as gain better emotional control, focus, and even help to create more concentration, empathy, and lower stress.

Many people feel intimidated by the idea of starting a mindfulness practice. One simple way to begin is to simply focus on breathing. The act of focusing on your breath can slow you down, help you to maintain focus, and stay in the present moment.

Simple Breathing Exercise:

1. Pause & take a moment to just breathe.

2. Sit or lay down and get comfortable.

3. Close your eyes or leave them at half gaze.

4. Breathe in slowly and deeply while counting to 5 in your mind.

5. Pause with your breath for a small count of 5.

6. Exhale completely while counting to 5.

7. Continue this 5 - 5 - 5 pattern for several minutes while breathing in deeply, pausing, exhaling, and repeating.

8. Practice daily! 

Now that you’ve read through the instructions, practice and try this exercise on your own. Remember, breathe in while counting to 5, hold your breath for 5, and then exhale while counting to 5. Simple, yet calming.

Try this exercise for a few minutes each day for one week and see how you feel. Maintaining a regular practice can have many benefits, including lowering stress, increasing mental focus and attention, less emotional reactivity, more cognitive flexibility, improving connections with others, and being more in tune with your mind and body.

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Online services are available

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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ONLINE STRESS MANAGEMENT CLASS

Life in Balance: Stress Management & Mindfulness program is an 8-module online class to help you better cope with stress and anxiety, as well as learn strategies for better balance and incorporate mindfulness. This program is a self-guided virtual class that you can complete at your own pace. Click here for more information.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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Forgiveness: 3 Steps to Help Learn to Let Go

Have you ever forgotten to take your dog for a walk or play fetch and still find that you get greeted daily with tail wags and kisses? It’s easy for animals to forgive as they just live in the moment and forget the bad. But for us? Oh no. We remember every detail that someone has done to wrong us. We don’t forget. Even times when we want to forget and move on, many find it difficult to do so. Forgiveness is hard, especially when we feel hurt, betrayed, or wronged by someone. The act of forgiveness is one of the most challenging and difficult things that we can do as human beings.

Why is it important to let go? Because holding onto anger and resentment can be burdensome. It can cause us stress, be emotionally overwhelming and often cause negative physical responses due to being continually angry. It ends up hurting you way more than the person whom you are angry with. Forgiveness is important and healthy. We all may need a different amount of time to come to the stage of forgiveness, however. Some, may be able to forgive quickly, while others may need to feel angry and hurt and forgive at a later date, and that’s okay too. The point is, forgiveness is a healthy release of emotion that we should work toward doing, but in our own time. 

Steps to Forgiveness:

1. Engage in empathy

This can be a very difficult task when you feel hurt by someone. It’s so challenging to put yourself in their shoes, practice empathy and imagine how and why they could hurt you. This is an important step though. There is much research that points to empathy being a key component in learning to forgive. The act of empathy can actually help lessen our own anger by looking at the situation from someone else’s point of view and help toward the process of healing. If we have a better understanding for why a spouse cheated or a friend lied to us or someone broke into our home, we can learn to forgive. This does not mean that we will forget or that we are saying this bad action is okay. It just means that we are trying to understand a different perspective that will help us in our healing. It may sound impossible, but when you sit and analyze for a moment why someone did something you consider terrible, you may learn that action was about them, and not you. Maybe it was due to their insecurities, a power and control issue, their addiction or mental illness, etc. Again, these things do not make it okay, but it can certainly give you a different perspective. With this understanding, there is hope to release the burdensome anger.

2. Practice gratitude

One activity to try when working on forgiveness is to practice gratitude. Think of the person who has hurt you, the things they have done wrong and things you feel resentful about. This will probably be very easy to do. Now think about things you feel grateful to them for. If it was a stranger, think of things about the situation that you can be grateful for or something that you learned from it. Again, this can be challenging and, at first, may seem. For many, it may seem impossible to think of something positive in a terrible situation, but perhaps the situation led you closer to others who are positive in your life, or perhaps it made you stronger, or maybe it just opened your eyes to see another person differently. The point here is to have you step out of a place of complete and utter consumption with anger and see a different perspective. 

3. Ceremonial act of letting go

The last exercise is to engage in a ceremonial act of forgiveness. Another crucial step in your healing is the actual act of letting go, which can be quite powerful and gratifying. It could include writing down all of your resentments and anger toward someone and burning that piece of paper, burying it in the dirt, or sending it off with a balloon. You could write the person a letter explaining how terrible their actions made you feel and never send it by either tearing it up or burning it. Now, it’s important to remember that you may be in a situation in which you need to actually discuss your hurt and pain with another person and that may be very important for you healing, but this activity is for you personally. This is your own personal healing and something for you to do without having to prepare to deal with another person. The point of this step is that you engage in a meaningful activity that allows you to work toward closure and letting go.

Now that you’ve gone through the process of forgiveness, you can let go and move forward with the important things in your life, without anger weighing heavily on your shoulders.

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ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Services are available for individuals and couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

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Free Facebook Group On Relationships

Be sure to JOIN our free Facebook group: The Couples Collaborative. This is an online support group that provides tips and inspirational material for couples and supportive discussions on challenging relationship-related issues.

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Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

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View fullsize

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View fullsize

How Gratitude Can Ease a Bad Day

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