Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 7/1/19 Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 7/1/19

5 Tips for Mindful Eating

We know how important mindfulness can be in our daily lives and that it provides many wonderful benefits, but how about being mindful at mealtime? Yes, you guessed it, being mindful while eating has powerful benefits! The idea of mindful eating means being fully in tune with your experience, including being aware of the food you are eating, the taste, texture, flavor, and the experience while also paying close attention to your feelings and emotional state.

We know how important mindfulness can be in our daily lives and that it provides many wonderful benefits, but how about being mindful at mealtime? Yes, you guessed it, being mindful while eating has powerful benefits! This is especially true for a person who may be experiencing and struggling with unhealthy eating patterns, such as mindlessly overeating or eating unhealthy foods.

The idea of mindfulness is being fully present and in the moment with your thoughts, sights, sounds, and experience. Therefore, mindful eating means being fully in tune with your eating experience, including being aware of the food you are eating, the taste, texture, flavor, and the experience while also paying close attention to your feelings and emotional state. This allows us to slow down while eating, be fully aware of the present moment with ourselves and the food we are putting into our bodies as well have a better overall relationship with food.

A mindful eating practice can help with particular challenges, such as binge eating or overeating and it can also help anyone wanting to begin a more healthful eating habit. By slowing down and being more mindful while eating, this reduces overeating and creates more awareness of healthy eating.

Here are a few strategies to get you started with a mindful eating practice.

5 Tips for Mindful Eating:

1. Take the time:

We live in a fast-paced and stressful culture and tend to rush through tasks during the day. One of those tasks is eating and mealtime, which is especially true during the busy workday. Most people will rush through their mealtime and not pay attention to what they are eating, how fast or how they are feeling. This type of situation often encourages people to eat more rapidly, rather than slowing down and actually enjoying their meal in the moment. This can encourage overeating since you are mindlessly rushing through so quickly that your brain and stomach do not have time to sufficiently communicate when you are full.

Another common example of not taking the time to eat is snacking on the go or in front of the television. Again, these are situations that can encourage overeating as well as not being fully present in the moment. I know it can be difficult to always sit down for a meal, but when you can, try it! This is an important step to slowing down, being more aware of what you are doing in the moment and engaging in more mindful eating.

2. Breathe beforehand:

Before you even begin to take a bite of your meal, sit still, and just breathe. This could be 5 deep breathes to slow yourself down and be fully present with the activity. By focusing on breath, this allows you to better connect to the moment. Remember mindfulness is about being fully aware of the present moment and in tune with how you are feeling. So take that time to take 5 deep breaths before beginning to eat and get yourself in a calm, connected, and mindful state.

3. Slow down:

Once you start eating, slow down. We often become rushed and want to speed through the experience, which can actually increase overindulgence and the amount of food that we are taking in. Slow down and savor each bite. Similar to the breathing exercise before you began eating, you also want to slow down between bites and while chewing. You could even try taking a few deep breathes in between bites to really slow down take notice of your experience. During this time, be sure to connect to how you are feeling and everything that is happening in the moment.

4. Enjoy & savor:

During this step, it’s important that you are aware of the moment and experience and actually enjoy the food that you are eating. Be sure to really take time to notice everything your current experience. It’s important to really savor each bite of food. This means that you will observe what the food looks like on your plate, take note of the colors, the shape, and size. Also, notice if the food has any smell and sit for a moment as you breathe them in. Then as you eat your meal, really savor the flavors in each bite. Notice how the food tastes, what flavors you taste, what the texture is like in your mouth and how the food feels as you eat. This step will allow you to be very aware, present and mindful of the food you are eating, which really encourages a more healthy eating pattern.

5. Repeat:

Like most new activities, it takes continued practice to really get the hang of it. Repeat this exercise many times until it becomes more of a habit during your mealtime routine. When you are beginning a new habit, it is easy to fall back into your same old routine. It really does take time, effort and practice. So try these techniques often and remember that if you get off track for a few days, that is completely normal. The key here is to get back on a healthy and more mindful path. It will take work and practice, but you are worth it.

Online Mindful Eating Class

For more information on mindful eating, check out our self-guided online class: Mindful Eating: A Healthy Relationship With Food. This class provides a workbook complete with information on emotional eating, mindful eating tips and homework assignments to guide you through the material as well as an hour and half of video series content. The class also comes with a guided mindful eating exercise.

ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

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Forgiveness: 3 Steps to Help Learn to Let Go

Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do. It’s especially difficult when you feel hurt or betrayed. However, forgiveness is a key component to healing and moving on.

Have you ever forgotten to take your dog for a walk or play fetch and still find that you get greeted daily with tail wags and kisses? It’s easy for animals to forgive as they just live in the moment and forget the bad. But for us? Oh no. We remember every detail that someone has done to wrong us. We don’t forget. Even times when we want to forget and move on, many find it difficult to do so. Forgiveness is hard, especially when we feel hurt, betrayed, or wronged by someone. The act of forgiveness is one of the most challenging and difficult things that we can do as human beings.

Why is it important to let go? Because holding onto anger and resentment can be burdensome. It can cause us stress, be emotionally overwhelming and often cause negative physical responses due to being continually angry. It ends up hurting you way more than the person whom you are angry with. Forgiveness is important and healthy. We all may need a different amount of time to come to the stage of forgiveness, however. Some, may be able to forgive quickly, while others may need to feel angry and hurt and forgive at a later date, and that’s okay too. The point is, forgiveness is a healthy release of emotion that we should work toward doing, but in our own time.

Steps to Forgiveness:

1. Engage in empathy

This can be a very difficult task when you feel hurt by someone. It’s so challenging to put yourself in their shoes, practice empathy and imagine how and why they could hurt you. This is an important step though. There is much research that points to empathy being a key component in learning to forgive. The act of empathy can actually help lessen our own anger by looking at the situation from someone else’s point of view and help toward the process of healing. If we have a better understanding for why a spouse cheated or a friend lied to us or someone broke into our home, we can learn to forgive. This does not mean that we will forget or that we are saying this bad action is okay. It just means that we are trying to understand a different perspective that will help us in our healing. It may sound impossible, but when you sit and analyze for a moment why someone did something you consider terrible, you may learn that action was about them, and not you. Maybe it was due to their insecurities, a power and control issue, their addiction or mental illness, etc. Again, these things do not make it okay, but it can certainly give you a different perspective. With this understanding, there is hope to release the burdensome anger.

2. Practice gratitude

One activity to try when working on forgiveness is to practice gratitude. Think of the person who has hurt you, the things they have done wrong and things you feel resentful about. This will probably be very easy to do. Now think about things you feel grateful to them for. If it was a stranger, think of things about the situation that you can be grateful for or something that you learned from it. Again, this can be challenging and, at first, may seem. For many, it may seem impossible to think of something positive in a terrible situation, but perhaps the situation led you closer to others who are positive in your life, or perhaps it made you stronger, or maybe it just opened your eyes to see another person differently. The point here is to have you step out of a place of complete and utter consumption with anger and see a different perspective.

3. Ceremonial act of letting go

The last exercise is to engage in a ceremonial act of forgiveness. Another crucial step in your healing is the actual act of letting go, which can be quite powerful and gratifying. It could include writing down all of your resentments and anger toward someone and burning that piece of paper, burying it in the dirt, or sending it off with a balloon. You could write the person a letter explaining how terrible their actions made you feel and never send it by either tearing it up or burning it. Now, it’s important to remember that you may be in a situation in which you need to actually discuss your hurt and pain with another person and that may be very important for you healing, but this activity is for you personally. This is your own personal healing and something for you to do without having to prepare to deal with another person. The point of this step is that you engage in a meaningful activity that allows you to work toward closure and letting go.

Now that you’ve gone through the process of forgiveness, you can let go and move forward with the important things in your life, without anger weighing heavily on your shoulders.

ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Services are available for individuals and couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Free Facebook Group On Relationships

Be sure to JOIN our free Facebook group: The Couples Collaborative. This is an online support group that provides tips and inspirational material for couples and supportive discussions on challenging relationship-related issues.

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Worried About Overindulging This Holiday Season? Here Are 6 Mindful Eating Tips to Help:

As we enter into the holiday season, it’s important to remember that having a balanced mindset can help reduce overindulging and promote healthier eating habits. Read more for tips on mindful eating.

This year has been incredibly challenging for most, if not all of us. With a pandemic, quarantines, social distancing, isolation, etc., it’s hard just to function day-to-day. When we add on holidays, it can be even more challenging. Many people are choosing to avoid holiday gatherings, in general, or to join in online or zoom calls to “see” friends and family. While this may reduce the chances of overindulging, for some, they are still faced with struggles in their own home. It is important to remember that balance and healthy eating are still essential to our overall wellbeing. The key here is balance This means that while we can absolutely indulge in celebration and enjoy a slice of our favorite pie, we must also maintain good self-awareness of our food intake and emotional process while eating and get back on track after the celebration ends.

The number of individuals struggling with eating disorders in this country has been quoted as high as 30 million by the National Eating Disorder Association. Therefore, many people may be dealing with the challenges of be triggered by food during the holidays. Emotional eating occurs when one’s emotional state causes them to binge eat or repeatedly overindulge. This can be particularly difficult to manage during this season as we tend to have more food available as well as lots of sugary treats to entice. If you find yourself struggling to control emotional eating episodes or urges to overindulge this holiday season, here are some tips that may be helpful.

6 Tips to Reduce Emotional Eating:

1. Prepare for mealtimes.

It is important to think ahead. This could include bringing some healthier snacks along with you where you know healthy food options may be limited or preparing a side dish that is a healthier option for you. Also, be sure that your good decisions begin while grocery shopping. If you limit your unhealthy options to begin with, this can help you fair better when it comes to mealtimes.

2. Manage stress.

The holidays can be stressful. When our stress levels are high, it has been noted that we tend to have higher episodes of emotional eating. It is important that you are managing your stress levels before and during the season to ensure that you do not engage in unhealthy eating as a poor coping mechanism. Some healthy ways to manage stress include: exercising, journaling, laughing, and engaging in distracting hobbies.

3. Get emotions under control.

Emotional eating is triggered by experiencing difficult or unhealthy emotions as well as challenging cognitions that impact the way that we think. One way to reduce emotional eating is to feel more in control of your emotions. This may include engaging in mindfulness or meditation. Mindfulness is a state of being fully in tune and aware of your present moment, including your thoughts, feelings and body experiences. Mindfulness can help you to feel very present and engaged in the moment as well as more in control to how you are feeling. Another way to get emotions under control is to express them. This could be to briefly write in a journal or call up a friend to talk about how you are feeling. The point here is that you are walking into a situation with a better overall mental and emotional state.

4. Engage in mindful eating.

Mindfulness is a state of being fully aware and in tune with your present moment; therefore, when we eat mindfully, this means we are being fully aware of ourselves and our experience with food. Mindful eating means taking a pause prior to eating to calm and center yourself. You can take a few deep breaths to really get yourself grounded. Then prior to eating, pay full attention to your food, how it looks and if there are any smells. Then as you take your first bite, really focus on the experience of chewing the food, what the food tastes like, what the texture is like and how it feels to eat the food. Continue this exercise throughout your eating experience to really help you slow down and focus on the present moment.

5. Manage alcohol consumption.

One critical piece of food intake that people often forget, is consuming alcohol. During the holiday season, many people may enjoy an alcoholic beverage here and there. It’s important to be mindful of your alcohol intake as this can impact your food consumption. When people do not monitor their alcohol intake they can often over eat without even realizing. Alcohol can lower our inhibitions and impact our judgment and thought process.

6. Get in the right mindset.

While emotions obviously play a huge role in emotional eating episodes, your mindset and the way that you think are equally important. Get into a good mindset! This could be engaging in positive affirmations before you go and speaking to yourself in a positive way like, “I can do this,” “I have my relationship with food under control,” “I can have a healthier relationship with food.” The purpose here is to utilize positive self-talk to impact the way that you think about yourself and your situation. This will set you up for entering the holidays with both your emotional and mental state in a more positive frame.

ONLINE MINDFUL EATING CLASS

ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

Steps to Forgiveness

5 Ways Pets Can Boost Your Mental Health

How Gratitude Can Ease a Bad Day

Tips to Finding Your Center

Finding Happiness in Everyday Things

Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 11/5/18 Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 11/5/18

Self-Care Tips for Postpartum Depressio

Here’s a brief blog about the common symptoms of postpartum depression, some tips on coping and self-care as well as resources for seeking professional help.

A postpartum depression can be seen anytime within the first year after childbirth, and between 10-20% of mothers suffer from postpartum depression. This depression can be seen not only after childbirth, but also sometimes during pregnancy, following a miscarriage, stillbirth or termination of a pregnancy. A woman may experience several symptoms during or after pregnancy, which will impact her ability to accomplish daily tasks.

Many women experience emotional changes after childbirth; however, some differences between postpartum depression and “the baby blues” are that postpartum depression is less common, lasts for a longer period of time, the symptoms are more intense, and the effect influences a woman’s ability to function as she normally would.

Many women feel embarrassed or guilty for feeling this way. However, receiving treatment is essential to help mothers effectively parent their child. Mothers may be greatly impacted by these feelings and thus lose confidence in their ability to parent, which can also increase their depression. The research shows that postpartum depression can impact the infant by causing distress, difficulty with emotional bonding, delays in development, and behavioral problems.

Postpartum depression symptoms may include:

Irritability
Sadness
Trouble concentrating
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in life
Loss of appetite
Less energy or motivation to do things
A hard time falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping more than usual
Increased crying
Feeling hopeless or overly guilty
Restlessness or anxiety
Unexplained weight loss or weight gain
Having thoughts about hurting yourself or about hurting your baby

Here are some tips for helping yourself:

1. Take some of the pressure off yourself. You are not “Supermom”. Be honest about how much you can do and be willing to ask others for help. This could include help during nighttime feedings, such as having your partner bring the baby to you at night, or help with household chores from a family member, neighbor, friend, or professional services. This social support will help you find time for yourself so you can rest.

2. Finding time for rest is important. Take frequent naps when another person is helping you or when the baby is also sleeping.

3. Talk about your feelings! Speak with friends, family, and your partner about what you are feeling. This can help to alleviate some of your emotional pain as well as find support in others.

Another idea is to keep a journal to write in daily, which can assist you in expressing your feelings and "letting it all out."

4. Find time to spend alone, just something for yourself, which could include reading, exercising (such as walking), taking a bath, writing in your journal, or meditating.

5. Understand your feelings. Know that you are not alone, and that it's okay and normal to feel overwhelmed. Bringing a child into the world brings many changes and many challenges.

6. Find additional support. Call a local hotline number, see the resources below for information and services, join a local support group for women, or seek professional therapy.

Postpartum depression is very real and can be very serious. Seek professional help when needed.

Resources:

Postpartum Support International: (800) 944-4773

http://www.postpartum.net

Postpartum Depression

https://www.postpartumdepression.org

Suicide Hotline: (800) 273-TALK

ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & video posts:

Steps to Forgiveness

5 Ways Pets Can Boost Your Mental Health

How Gratitude Can Ease a Bad Day

Tips to Finding Your Center

Finding Happiness in Everyday Things

Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 10/24/18 Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt 10/24/18

Online Versus In-Person Coaching Services

Online counseling and online therapy have picked up in popularity recently. With the ease of finding an online therapist and the use of technology from your own sofa, it’s no wonder why. People often wonder what online coaching services would be like in comparison to going into an office. Read more about online vs. in-person services.

When beginning an online business, I debated at length about providing services solely online versus having office visits as I have previously done. I thought long and hard about my decision. I read lots of research studies that have been conducted about the difference in efficacy and challenges that may arise depending on if you are meeting in person versus online. Surprisingly, I found that the research shows outcomes of online services are just as effective as office visits and meeting face-to-face with someone in person. I have also noticed a big movement toward online therapy services, although I will have to admit after working for years in an office setting where I met my clients face-to-face, having my first Skype call was a bit odd simply because it was something new and different. However, after several calls, it began to feel like second nature. I find that once you make a personal connection with someone then talking over the phone or online comes with ease.

I will say that this is very much a personal choice based on your own comfort level. If you are searching for services and feel that telehealth and virtual services would be too awkward or you have tried online services and just did not feel like a good match for you, then you should definitely search for a local provider. There are some great online directories that will help you find someone including: mycoachmatch.com or noomi.com. Also, if you are facing a more serious mental health condition and need traditional psychological services versus coaching, then I would recommend finding a mental health provider in your area. You may start your search for mental health services through your health insurance or you can also search online directories such as psychologytoday.com for a psychologist in your local area.

However, for those who may see the convenience, ease and comfort of online services, then why not keep up with the modern digital age? Let’s face it, the times have changed and we are definitely more digital than ever before! Online counseling provides more of an opportunity to meet at your convenience without restrictions due to scheduling, timing or travel. When you are able to meet online then you can be in the comfort of your own home or office without the worry of having to travel to an appointment. The online therapy option also allows you a bit more privacy considering you do not have to walk into an office somewhere or sit in the waiting room with others passing through. You can simply sit in the comfort of your own home or office and connect with your online coach without anyone knowing. It’s simple, private and convenient.

Online coaching services also offer the opportunity to find a variety of options with services. You have access to many more people, specialities and a variety of coaches and therapists than just the local people in your area. Online counseling services can connect you to professionals in each and every state as well as worldwide! This opens so many doors. This allows for ample opportunity to choose from a variety of specialties and areas of focus that you may not be able to find locally. Many people, especially in rural communities, may have a hard time finding mental health services available in their area or finding a professional who they feel they match well with or has the specialty training that they need. So being able to search online really broadens the criteria and allows for many more options.

There are lots and lots of coaches and therapists available. So when looking for someone to work with, be sure and review their credentials, look at their experiences, watch videos or read their written work to get a sense of who they are as a person. Most importantly, once you find someone, make sure that you “click” with that person when you speak to them and have a compatible personality and style. If you are finding that you just aren’t the right match, then try your search again and keep working to find the right person for you. Research suggests that it is the relationship between the two people that has one of the greatest impacts on effecting change and outcomes of the sessions. So believe me, it’s worth the time and effort to find just the right person for you.

Read more about the Loving Roots Project online services for individual and couples & our self-guided online wellness classes.

ONLINE SESSIONS AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Online services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Services are available for couples or individuals. Appointments may be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Research:

Barak, Azy, et al. (2008). A comprehensive review and a meta-analysis of the effectiveness of internet-based psychotherapeutic interventions. Journal of Technology in Human Services, 26.2-4: 109-160. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15228830802094429#.VI8vaCvF_hs

Wantland, D. J., Portillo, C. J., Holzemer, W. L., Slaughter, R., & McGhee, E. M. (2004). The effectiveness of Web-based vs. non-Web-based interventions: a meta-analysis of behavioral change outcomes. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 6(4). http://www.jmir.org/2004/4/e40 /