Self-Development Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt Self-Development Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt

Can Being Kind Increase Happiness?

Kindness is the simple act of being friendly, caring and compassionate toward others. Being kind is often undervalued, but can actually take courage and strong interpersonal skills as well as increase our happiness. Kindness has been noted to promote gratitude, optimism, stress relief and help reduce negative feelings.

Kindness is often a disregarded and undervalued trait. While kindness can be an undervalued trait, it is important to note that true acts of kindness take courage and strength as well as demonstrate a great deal of interpersonal skill. It carries a great deal of importance in our lives, however. Kindness is simply the act of being good, friendly, and compassionate toward other people. It also encompasses an element of being altruistic, which means that you are being kind to others without the expectation of something in return. 

A few interesting facts about kindness:

Kindness can actually be good for you!

It can be helpful to both our physical and mental health. It’s been shown that even witnessing acts of kindness can produce oxytocin, which is often called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin helps to increase our optimism, confidence and even lower blood pressure. Kindness can also stimulate the production of serotonin, which can help you to feel happy. There was a research study done in Japan that showed that happy people were kinder than people who were not happy. So there really is a connection between our own happiness and being kinder to others.

Kindness has been shown to:

  • Help us to live longer 

  • Reduce stress

  • Help get rid of negative feelings

  • Increases optimism

  • Lowers blood pressure

  • Increases happiness

Kindness is contagious! 

After a person witnesses an act of kindness, they are more likely to engage in a good deed and “pay it forward.” Meaning that they are more likely to be kind to other people. Therefore, kindness is contagious and tends to spread.

To start living a kinder & happier life, here are some tips:

1. Start with being kind to yourself:

Remember that the happier you are, the more kind you will be to others. So first start with treating yourself in a kind matter. Many people find they can be critical of themselves or engage in negative self-talk. This includes that little voice in your head that may tell you that you can’t do something or that you aren’t good enough. Catch this negative self-talk and shoot it down. Engage in positive affirmations about yourself and your life. This will increase your overall positivity. Another activity that can help you begin to be kind to yourself is to make a list of your positive qualities and strengths. We can sometimes forget all of the great qualities that we possess. 

2. Be more present and mindful:

When you live in the moment, you’ll be more likely to notice people around you and see opportunities where you can be kind to others. Being more in tune with the present moment will allow you to view moments of kindness that may be happening around you that you would have otherwise not noticed. Research shows us that the witnessing of kindness can help us to feel more positive and optimistic as well as increase the likelihood that we will spread that kindness. The practice of mindfulness can also ease your daily stressors and help you to be more aware of your critical inside voice and therefore, increase the kindness toward yourself. 

3. Just start:

Do a small random act of kindness today or even this week. You can express gratitude to someone, hold the door open for a random stranger, or pay a compliment to a friend. It’s a small step toward a much bigger cause. Kindness is such an important concept for us on a personal level, for people around us, in our communities and neighborhoods and for all humans.

So remember - spread kindness today!

ONLINE SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE

If you are needing support, virtual services are available, see Online Coaching with Dr. Shelley. Services are provided by telephone or online through a HIPAA-compliant telehealth portal, which allows you to be in the comfort of your own home during sessions & have increased privacy. Sessions are available for individuals or couples. Appointments can be booked online or simply email Dr. Shelley with any questions or appointment requests.

Blog written by: Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Coach & Founder of the Loving Roots Project, an online wellness practice specializing in personal growth, mental wellness, & relationship betterment.

Follow the Loving Roots Project on social media for weekly blogs & videos:

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Loving Roots Project

A brief blog about the Loving Roots Project to discuss the goals, mission and the foundation of the project.

As a psychologist and wellness coach, I’ve spent many years studying human behavior and working with clients in a variety of settings to make positive changes in their lives. My experience seeing how difficult this process can be, yet also how empowering, beautiful, at times crucial, and always inspiring is what drove me to embark on this venture.

I started the Loving Roots Project with the mission of reaching out to as many people as possible with positive messages about personal growth and development. I hope to share inspirational content on this blog, webpage, and social media to promote positivity and empower others on their journey. 

The name Loving Roots Project represents first solidifying a foundation of self-love. The importance of our core being solid is critical before working on lasting, healthy love in our relationships, as well as a bigger mission of love, kindness, and positivity in our communities.

Self-love is one of the most important aspects of living a healthier, happier and more meaningful life. Many people may worry that this is selfish, but it is actually quite the opposite. We are able to be more loving, caring and helpful to those around us when we have a healthy love for ourself FIRST. You often hear the analogy on an airplane to put your oxygen mask on first before putting your child’s on or helping others around you. This is a similar concept. If you are not in a good place in your own life, you will have a harder time being positive and productive with other activities and relationships.

The bigger picture is that after we’ve established a healthier love for self and engage in healthy relationships, then we naturally carry a kindness that is spread to those around us. This idea is based on feeling good inside and in our relationships so that we enter the world with more kindness, compassion and gratitude. How many times have you seen messages of hate posted online or spoken in your community and when you really analyze the position of the person who made such a statement, most people would agree that they can see hate, anger and unhappiness. When people are happy and feel good about themselves, they generally want to spread kindness and joy to others.

With these principles in mind, I hope that the Loving Roots Project can help to motivate others to work on their own roots and core. That they begin the process of self-love first and work toward living the best life they can. Then, spreading this same idea to those around them and engaging in positive and healthy relationships. This will only helps us to maintain more uplifting, kind and compassionate communities.

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